Around the corner from where I live there is this Mexican Grocery store. And right now I am enjoying a Mexican Squirt. That’s Squirt made with pure cane sugar. No high-fructose corn syrup in it and it is delicious. I enjoyed being in the market. The store clerk was friendly, ask me if it was my first time there, it wasn’t. He was super kind.
They sell all types of peppers, homemade salsa, they even prepare fresh tacos during lunch hour, and they also sell cacti. How do you even prepare cactus? I don’t know, but while I was there I felt like I was worlds away. Away from the normal unrelenting drone of this American life. Yet, I was less than one mile from my house.
The point here is – I think I am suffering from too much. Too much of everything. Seeing too much, hearing too much. Owning too much, and feeling too much. Thinking too much. Worrying too much. I am officially on overload.
I need to shut it all off. I need to shut it all down. I need to try not to notice. I need to listen.
I need to listen to that voice inside that has been screaming at me – STOP!
So today I stop. I am really going to stop tomorrow, I don’t know exactly what I will do, but it wont require me to worry, to think, or to rush here or there.
I am officially in the stop mode. I don’t care if I don’t know how to be a miracle worker right now…..I am stop mode. If I don’t learn how to meditate this week, so what?
I already feel better just saying I am in “stop mode.” Seems silly but it appears to be helping me.
I hope you can STOP also…..it’s awesome and I just started a few minutes ago. I guess it doesn’t take 40 day to stop.
So I didn’t make it pass day three of “May Cause Miracles.” That’s right, it was so easy, I said. A snap. “I can do this!”
But life has a way of interrupting even the best of intentions. I mean if all I had to do was to take care of myself, just me, no one else or no other creature, or no other anything, just maybe I could make it past day 3. I don’t know.
I told myself I would catch up, or start over, I have not done either yet. My plate of life is so full right now with……business issues, legal issues, my Mother is ill, my children aren’t settled, a house in disrepair, oh and let’s not forget the tax issues they just found from 2004!
There is even more than that, but that’s about all I care to put into writing.
I think I have done it all wrong. I must have. Everything. Wrong. Since the beginning of my life I must have listened to the wrong people and taken in the wrong messages. I don’t know how else I could have arrived at this place at this time. Because how? Tell me how ? One person can really want a better existence yet can’t ever figure out how to get it?
For the most part I have tried to do the right thing. Even as a small child I knew not to belittle or mock others, I stood up for the underdog ALWAYS. I would think, what would be best? What would be nice? What would be helpful?
Yet here I am, a struggling mess.
I can be sarcastic but only in fun. You know a dry sense of humor….that alone shouldn’t have banished me to this place.
I eat healthy. Food and weight isn’t my issue. I do not long for material items. I dont want or need the latest greatest anything. I just want a simple peaceful life.
Maybe someone has a voodoo doll of me and they are sticking it with pins. That’s about all I can figure, or I was a horrible person in another lifetime. Oy Vey!
This is basically how I feel and what I believe in a nut shell.
Please watch and actually take a moment to see how materialism has shaped your life. I was forced to look at my ways, and I am better for it. At least, I feel better and I am happier.
I am free from the grip of corporations, and I strive to become even more free each and every day.
I know I have been missing from this blog, I have been working super hard on our renovation Project 1923. I have been without a kitchen and a real bed for quite some time now, and I think it has help to change my perspective. Simpler is better and easier for me. Oh, and we no longer watch TV……that’s huge.
If you want to get the trash out of your head, turning the TV off is essential. Try it for a week…. I dare you. For serious down time, too tired to move or think down time, I have Netflix. Not the greatest selection, but the documentaries seem to suit me well at the moment.
Bit by bit, I am applying what I preach to my own life. I have tamed the old wild-ass-consumer I used to be. Curbed the hoarder I became as a result my shopping and now I think more clearly. Literally I pause before each buying decision. This solidifies my desire to use less, have less, and want less. Not buying is incredibly empowering. It truly is.
Just recently I’ve caught myself walking away from negative conversations. That’s right, just walking away…..I don’t care if someone thinks I am a weirdo. Who cares what anyone thinks anyway? ( you never know what is in their mind, so quit thinking about it. It’s trash thinking, a waste of your own time and mind power.) Be yourself, be kind, and do your best. It is that simple.
As far as politics go, I have to turn it WAY off. I am very opiniated about my political beliefs, however, I am never going to change a right-winged mentality. I have learned that lesson and want no part of it. It’s all trash- doesn’t accomplish a thing. I am liberal at heart, and I have no problems with that. ( good thing I have a handful of political friends on line – or on-demand if you will – it’s nice to touch base without all the drama. )
Life is still hectic.
Our move has proven to be a great decision. We love our new town and our neighborhood. It’s diverse, interesting and people are super friendly. The house was a bargain, and the work we are doing to it is rewarding. I have learned many skills and am stretching my imagination. The satisfaction from a completed project is HUGE.
We are appreciating the good and actually ” living with less” is much more awesome than I ever thought possible.
I heard a friend say one day, ” My goal is to live well below my means.” That stuck with me and I have chosen it as one of my many goals. It’s fun.
Mini Update: I have weeded out my pottery, and actually am parting with some of my children’s art work. The storage unit is less crowded, we hope to move to a smaller unit by September first. Currently my focus is on our renovation, 29 days of giving, real work and family. Soon I will be paining ( art) again, it’s nice to even feel like painting again.
Whatever you want to change, you can – even if it takes forever – you have the power. Until next time. Cheers!
It’s difficult to believe this but I have never sat in a coffee shop alone with my laptop. I have never gone to a library to read. I’ve only once gone to a sit-down restaurant by myself.
I’m no spring chicken. I have done many many other things that maybe someone else hasn’t done. But seriously the simple things are foreign to me. I never felt I had the luxury of time to do these things, or I would tell myself , “I can do that at home.” Doing simple things at home is never the same as doing them else where, and they rarely happen.
I remember on one vacation I was happy to cook everyone breakfast, no matter what time they woke up. Looking out the kitchen window there nothing but beach between me and Pacific Ocean. I determined I could cook there non-stop. At home I might say to the late risers, “I’ve been up for five hours I just had lunch.”
Here is the key, when you get home, there’s always something tugging at you. If not physically then mentally. At least in my case there is. Considering what lives at home off and on; two dogs, two cats, three children, a husband and my mother, tugging at me comes as no surprise. That’s another reason I am heading to minimalism less stuff to even consider or clutter your thoughts. You don’t have to bother yourself with items that have to be stored, or saved for another time, or cleaned and repaired. No. No Mas. The time is now.
Time to change it up a bit.
I figure I can spare one hour a day, with a minimum of travel time on either side. So lets make it two hours. Two hours instantly scares me into thinking I cant do this. But I know I can if I really want it. If I want it more than doing laundry today, or lingering on the internet, I can spare some time to hang with nature. That’s what I like to do. You might like something totally different. Maybe you won’t get to it exactly at the time you wanted, but if you want it, you can get there.
Time to let yourself know, you make the your decisions. Face it, when we make excuses many times we still don’t even do “the excuse” of why we couldn’t do what we wanted. Time sucks are everywhere. You need to identified and destroy those time-leaks.
For a while I was taking the dogs to the park , throwing down a blanket and sketching with my colors pencils and reading. With this small outing, took my hectic-life and I made it stop. I was there. Nothing else was allowed to tugged at me. It was pretty awesome.
Start simply: here’s an idea you can do at home tonight.
How about a luxury bath? Even if you don’t usually take baths, try this on for size; 2 cups of Epsom salts, 1 cup of baking soda, and 10 drops of lavender oil to bathwater as hot as you can tolerate.
I am doing this tonight. I think I will light a few candles as well. Love to hear how you like it , if you do it.
Tip: Start small, little changes every day is the best way to change your life, but don’t allow yourself to miss even one day no matter what.
Inspiration: “Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.”- Buddha
One day – one thing: Take ten minutes, close your eyes and visualize your life as you want to live it.
So everything in your life is a mess, you’re stressed and wondering what you should do. It’s easy to let your emotions take over at times like these, but that’s not going to help anything.
Here’s what you are gong to do about it: NOTHING.
Let go of your problems for a while. I suggest all day today, just don’t do or think anything related to any of the problems in your life. If you have to, put a rubber band on your wrist and snap it every time you find yourself dwelling on some issue you can not control or thinking about an issue that has you worried or upset.
I plan on reading. I know I have a pile of books that are begging for my attention. When you read you learn. Learning is a sure way to take your mind someplace else. I may be going to a movie, by myself. It’s quite relaxing to go out without any company. I encourage you to try it.
If you are alone most the time, go somewhere social. Go to a museum and join a talk or a group tour. You’ll be with other people and share an experience, which is usually interesting if nothing more.
By the end of the day your life will still be a mess but you will not have wasted your Saturday worrying about it.
Your mission should you chose to take it is: Make your today work for you and not against you.
Tip: Leave the desk behind if you can this weekend and just live. It’s hard to slow down
Inspiration: “My ideas usually come not at my desk writing but in the midst of living.” – Anais Nin
One-day one-thing: Enjoy something, anything, your choice.
I would not have believed it but I saw it with my own two eyes. Look at these storage containers that are for all her shoes, bracelets, hats, her books and her love notes from Ken. She is getting her containers this month, just like the rest of Americans. I hope she gets them on sale!
It took all I could muster up not to buys these, if as nothing more than a reminder, that out of sight is out of mind, and out of mind is out of use. I don’t need more clutter no matter how darn cute it is!!!
We live in a world where even the toys our children play with, multiply and eventually end up unruly and in desperate need of their very own storage system.
In my household it’s Lego’s and Brio Trains. I have them stored. It literally never ever crossed my mind to think of those “holy” toys as something I would ever consider as clutter. These toys belong to my babies, they are sacred. (I am kind of shocked at myself)
I have high hopes that one day I will have grandchildren who will like Legos. Is that far fetched? My realistic mind tells me I am crazy. I mean seriously – who am I kidding? When I see little children now they are playing on cell phones.
I will keep these toys until the bitter end of my journey, because I can’t bare to think about it…..about any of it right now. That’s the truth.
The good thing , I like to let you know, is I didn’t buy the mini containers, and I only swore
twice ten times today.
Life is hard. And life is cruel. Sometimes it’s okay not to be super productive.
(Barbie has all sorts of stuff it wouldn’t surprise me if she had a storage unit. )
Tip: Everyday write your current goal at the top of your to do list. This serves as an affirmation and helps keep you on the right track.
Inspiration: ” What if Andy gets another dinosaur? A mean one? I just don’t think I can take that kind of rejection! ” ~ Rex , Toy Story
One-day one-thing: Throw away something that is in your way. Just throw it away. It wont be in your way ever again. :)