The Eight Qualities of Success
- Harmony is when there is complete agreement between what you think, say and do.
- Balance is the reward of harmony; it is when you are most calm and content because there is no disconnect between your thoughts, words and actions.
- Courage. Is the ability to make choices that bring harmony and balance. Courage is not always about action. It takes courage to do nothing, rather than do something that you do not believe in or understand.
- Generosity. True generosity is an offering; given freely and out of pure love. No strings attached. No expectations. Time and love are the most valuable possession you can share.
- Happiness: bubbles up when the first four qualities are in abundance. Happiness is not a luxury. It is a necessity. When we are happy we are in the best possible place to be good to ourselves and those we love.
- Wisdom: is the ability to make the right decisions at the right time. Wisdom alerts you when you are out of balance or having trouble summoning courage. It is your inner voice guiding you through and past the noise.
- Cleanliness: When there is clarity and organization in your thoughts and your physical space you can more easily access the inner wisdom and courage that makes harmony and balance achievable.
- Beauty is what you possess when you incorporate the seven preceding qualities into your life.
This is basically how I feel and what I believe in a nut shell.
Please watch and actually take a moment to see how materialism has shaped your life. I was forced to look at my ways, and I am better for it. At least, I feel better and I am happier.
I am free from the grip of corporations, and I strive to become even more free each and every day.
Okay so have you ever met with situation where someone screws you out of money and you think to yourself, “I’ll sue them.”
But after you settle down reality kicks in – you can’t possibly afford an attorney. Or you find an attorney who down-plays your case to cover his ass. The first thing out of every attorney’s mouth is: “If this goes to court I can’t guarantee you will win.” Believe me I have been there. So I want to offer advice.
First off: People who are going to make money off you lie. <;- Sear this into your brain.
Second: People who lie rarely put things in writing. Some will provide contracts but then they have you sign first, but they themselves never sign. (I’ve seen this trick in construction and employment)
So here is what you do, try to guard yourself against the two items listed above.
Say you have some work that needs to be done at your house. Take a notebook and date and time stamp everything that is said, no matter how trivial you think it may be. Little details will jogged your memory as time passes and it makes your record keeping more believable.
Set up your phone to record conversations. I have a cell only so I am currently looking for a way to do this. ( any apps out there? if not I will develop one)
I remember once I taped a lawyer from a huge firm, who said to me,” we really f*ck up your case.” It didn’t matter that this recording never saw the light of a court room, it was enter into a court doc and filed which made it public record. They dropped all fees right there and then, that is all we wanted.
Just recently a person on the phone asked if they were being taped before saying some very incriminating statements. (note: ANYONE who asks if they are being recorded is about to tell you the truth.) Of coarse I wasn’t taping him, I was ill prepared. If you are taping anyone do not admit it. It may not be admissible in a court of law, but the proof is there and that proof alone will spark a settlement without going to court. If nothing else remember you can always go viral with the tape.
Another tip is ALWAYS have someone with you for discussions if possible. Witnesses are very powerful. Plus they can help you recall details.
Okay, so if you just got screwed, whether you have a lot of proof or just a little proof, take your complaint to small claims court. The courthouse in my town makes this very easy. Your local municipal court should have similar forms and instructions available. If not , use these two docs: 1. instructions 2. claim form, as a reference and make your own. The worst that can happen is the court will correct you and provide guidance. The cost to file a small claim here is 65.00, .05 cents for copies and they will notarize on the spot.
I always remember those sh*tty landlords that wouldn’t refund my rent deposit. I never fought for return of my security deposit. I didn’t know how.
The limit for small claims is thee thousand dollars, that’s way better than nothing. And you will not rack up any lawyer fees. So if you win or lose at least you tried to get you money back.
If you are in a position where you need help regarding family law. Do it your self. Believe me divorce lawyers want to keep you in court and fighting as long as possible. The more you disagree, or the more a lawyer leads you to believe you can get XYZ, the more money that lawyer makes.
The moral of the story, you don’t need a lawyer and you don’t have to take getting screwed.
Fight for yourself, you are the only one who truly cares.
OOPS! ****Forgot this important tip. Make a paper trail that shows you attempted to resolve the matter before you go to court. It always looks good to the judge if you can prove you made an effort to avoid his/her courtroom.
Tip: Stick with facts and stay calm and always be polite in correspondence.
Inspiration: “A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns.” – Don Corleone, in The Godfather – Mario Puzo
One-day one-thing: Organize important documents. This may be a repeat, but with tax time, I have new docs to organize. It’s never stop
I want to be one of those people that makes a difference. But I’m frustrated because I never get my ideas off the ground. For whatever reasons I lack the focused dedication that is required. I get one idea and that may get shot down or hit a road-block and before I know it, I have another idea.
I was brought to tears today because while talking about this I began to realize that maybe I am not cut out to be the facilitator. That maybe the best I could do was throw my ideas out there and just maybe someone else would pick one up and run with it. Maybe someone out there has the drive, the time and the focus but needs some ideas.
So that’s what I am going to do. Every so often I’m going to un-clutter my ideas and give them away.
Here is an old idea, which I still think has merit.
Pennies4People. During the Kosovo war I coordinated the logistics with the Red Cross and National City Bank, (now PNC bank ), to collect and process pennies which were to be donated from students at my children’s’ elementary school. I was to make the collection containers, collect the pennies weekly and drive them to the bank, and the bank would run them through their coin machines to count and then issue a check to the Red Cross. The Red Cross, a non-political neutral entity, would use the funds to help the refuge families struggling in the midst of the war.
The concept was that elementary school children (grades 3rd through 5th) could join together and raise donation money. Everyone has a penny, everyone could participate no matter if they were wealthy or not. And for one penny the students would know they were helping children on the other side of the world. I was hopeful that this program would spread through the city school system, and grow city by city.
I owned the web site Pennies4People. Everything was in place. That is until I received a letter from the elementary school principal telling me that the school had a Serbian family in attendance, and they thought we had to be considerate of their feelings. This made zero sense to me. I tried to explain that the Red Cross was not picking sides, that they are politically neutral, the funds would be used to help everyone. People who needed food, water, shelter. It didn’t matter. The principal’s answer was NO!
I was totally dejected, my contacts at National City Bank and the Red Cross were equally dismayed, but it didn’t matter. Life went on.
I believe(d) in teaching our children the importance of compassion and understanding for those suffering, and equally important showing them how the smallest action can make a big difference. I thought this was a win-win-win, if there is any such thing. The principal shot it down, and my idea died with that rejection letter.
Since that time, many different organizations have used the fund raising term “Pennies for People.” Back then no one was on the internet with this idea besides me, but that doesn’t matter now. I realize this isn’t the most original idea today, but that’s not the point, it’s still an idea.
So if you see anyway you might be able to use this for something good please do. I’ll continue to post ideas. Maybe one day you’ll read one that will work for you. And if you do please take it and make change happen.
(Right now watching a football game in the background I thought why not have Pennies4People on any Sunday at every stadium that has a game. All those people in the stands have pennies. Banks need good PR -Donate to homeless shelters or for heating oil for the elderly, anything – you get the idea)
Days aren’t just days any longer. We have evolved to a point where certain days are used to market goods, or support movements, or promote whatever even pickles.
For me all this doesn’t matter. I think everyday should be support small business day, and every other day should be buy nothing day. Black Friday is nothing more than a flashing red alert signalling to me to stay out of any shopping area.
We consume too much and produce too little. I am as guilty as the next person. My first instinct is to buy. I have to fight it. Even though I know I want to save money right now, when I see something I find appealing I think: Oh, I should get that, before it’s gone.
That’s one of many thoughts of a recovering shopaholic. I also caught myself saying, “We should get that because the one you have will wear out eventually.” I actually heard myself, took a step back and left without buying anything. I can’t believe that after all this time those thoughts still are at the forefront of my mind.
Maybe it is really some sort of addictive condition? I never believed that I was certifiably a “shopaholic.” Mind you you, I didn’t buy the things I saw the other day but, WOW, I wanted to. And sitting here right now, I realized I didn’t even snap a photo of the thing I wanted to buy.
I will go back today and take a photo. It was a mirrored covered box, which I certainly without a doubt do not need. But I am drawn to mirrored items. My favorite color is clear. Water in all its forms fascinates me, and mirrors reflect like water.
Normally, I take pictures of things I like but either can’t buy, or can’t keep, or look interesting but I don’t want. Taking photos is one of my many coping mechanisms and it’s very effective.
I need to remember to stay the course of de-cluttering and saving money and not buying “stuff.” With the cold weather creepy in it’s so easy to forget about the garage and the storage unit. Out of sight out of mind.
I don’t want more stuff. I have too much stuff. Less is more.
Tip: Put a rubber band on your wrist, snap it before you make a buying decisions. (ouch)
Inspiration:“Obstacles are those things you see when you take your eyes off the goal.”- Hannah More
One-day one thing: Sort make-up again.
I am the 99%.
And I am proud of each and every person who has taken their time to express themselves. A message such as this would have gone nowhere if it wasn’t true. Keep on keeping on. They may not listen but we will. There is power in numbers and it’s about time we took our power back. Here are some things you can do to support the people: we are the 99%.
1.) Donate food items to your local food banks.
2.) Donate winter coats and blankets to shelters.
3.) Foster a pet, who may have lost it’s home.
4.) Support local small business whenever you can.
5.) Send a message to the bank behemoths, by moving your money to a smaller local bank.
6.) Stop investing in the stock market.
7.) Write your congressmen.
8.) Register to vote.
9.) Support local movements.
10.) Drive less, use less gasoline.
11.) Show your support, yard signs, sticker whatever.
12.) Stop using your debit card and credit card. Pay with cash.
13.) Don’t let yourself become silent. Do not allow yourself to be belittled.
Remember it’s all about the mighty dollar and your vote. Don’t give in. This peaceful movement is going exactly as Gandhi quote says:
“First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then
they fight you, then you win.”
This is particular difficult to achieve one hundred percent of the time. I mean if you are like me, you spent the last 20 plus years buying stuff. You bought for your house, your garden, your dogs, your cats, you bought for the new baby, and the new baby after that and so on. When I am faced with looking at those things I bought sometimes I see the joy it brought, but more times than not I see a price tag. Front and center my mind tells me, “Man that was expensive.” The next thought is “and we barely used it.”
My item today: our pool table. I bought it as a birthday present for my husband, back when the children were little. We thought they would grow up have friends over and shoot pool, like we did when we were younger. Not so much. Video games, organized sports, movies and social networking was the main stay of their teen years.
This particular purchase is more “dwell” worthy than just it alone, because when we moved we actually put an addition on our house to hold the table. Ugh! I recently tried to sell it for weeks – not a single bite.
I can’t dwell. Currently the pool table is in storage, at a U-store-it place. It’s been in storage before , so there still may be hope for future usefulness. I am not sure.
My key here is do not dwell on it. It is what it is. Move on and do one thing today to move closer to living better with less.
The minute you realize that you have too much stuff, a sudden feeling of dread and hopelessness is sure to follow. It can break you and make you cry. The work appears endless, and overwhelming. I have cried, and drowned myself in music and random car rides. I have fabricated needless errands as a method of avoidance. Many days I can be found aimlessly wandering in stores. I like TJ Maxx to mindlessly wander in because they have music and all different departments all in one place. Sometimes when I return to the house I like to buddy up with my friend Chardonnay.
Eventually, avoidance will become boring and you will want to move on, you will want to be free of the clutter. But you still will not know how to even start.
Here’s my rule. One Day – One Thing. In the most difficult areas, that’s is all you have to do, and more realistically it’s all you can do. The goal is to do one thing that will move into the direction of having less and being more. Do this every single day.
Today- I am taking photos for some items for eBay. That’s it. That’s all I am doing on this. I worked a full day at the office, and I am burned out.
(Side note: I definitely like to write my task down, just so I can cross it off. )
Find one action item for your tomorrow, put it on your list and do it.
I realized the other day that I lost out on 200.00. It’s as simple as that. I saved the coupon that encouraged me to go to a new bank and open a new account. I saved it, I put the coupon in a file for future use. Problem is I opened my new account forgetting all about the coupon. BAM! Two hundred bucks straight out of my pocket. I didn’t find this “saved” coupon until well after I opened my new bank account, and way past the coupon’s expiration date.
This is just one example of the many dollars I have lost due to my cluttered life and cluttered mind.
Suggestions: Only save food coupons for items you know you will buy within the next 7 days. Place your coupons on your refrigerator in plain sight.
Be strict with yourself. Write down the item or service that you will be using on your to-do list or make sure to mark it on your calendar. For service coupons, schedule the appointment right away, do not delay. You’ll will find over time you will be able to identify coupons that work for you, in reality, not just in your mind.