I’ve been pondering, yes more than usual, and I think that I am going to throw some of my thoughts out there. No order, no goal.
I’m sick and tired of the economy. And seeing as I am part of it, I’m going on strike. For the year 2017 I will only buy necessities like food and toilet paper. And of course home repairs, car repairs, and vet bills…..but you get the idea. F-them.
About social media, yeah it sucks. It time sucks and it can be a wasteful distraction from better things. I mean seriously, you’d feel one hundred times better if you took a nap rather than spend an hour on Facebook. Cutting back, but not cutting out.
And regarding Donald, I dont want to hear what he tweeted. Until a story is actually news worthy, I’m tuning the Donald out. Can I tell you something? When I hear his name my stomach literally turns. He, and the mention of him, makes me physically sick.
I will support issue that are dear to my heart. Mother Theresa once said,
“I was once asked why I don’t participate in anti-war demonstrations. I said that I will never do that, but as soon as you have a pro-peace rally, I’ll be there.”
I never understood it until this year. It’s that mentality that I have to carry to get through this f-up world. War and social issues are complicated and there is just way too much negativity. My body can’t take any additional turmoil. So I hope this year, to support some of the most simplest causes protecting human rights, animal rights and our environment.
You do know I am extremely liberal. And by the way, I am proud of that.
I made a list to live by, for my daily grind….it’s a bit over reaching. I can’t find it now. Shit. I forget everything. It was things to do everyday. Making life habits. Now I have to think it all up again.
- give something
- do art
- play with dogs
- write something
- I cant remember… probably yoga….I’ve been meaning to take that up for years.
Anyway you get the idea. I just can’t waste another year filling my head with all the crap in the world that I can not control.
Those are my thoughts for now. Just ramblings …. I hope to be writing better stuff real soon…..Carry on and cheers!
Yes it’s going to be a new year. And yes I am excited about it. Why? I don’t know. I suppose its a results of many years of conditioning.
Here the thing about my new year, I did a little math equation and to tell you the truth it kind of blew my socks off. I’ll share it below:
1 hour of FB per day x 365 days = 365 hours
If you are at all like me, there are days I don’t go on at all, and other days where it feels like I can’t stay off. In any case, it’s all time and every little bit adds up. Even if you are waiting in line or at a soccer practice it’s time taken.
365 hours / 24 hours in a day = 15.208 days per year
That is more than a two week vacation. This blew my mind.
I’m not saying I will quit FB, nor am I suggesting anyone else to stop using the beast. I’m only offering some insight to something that has been on my mind and that I hope to curtail. Especially because I have been known to complain about not having enough time, and yet I have used my time poorly.
I have some lofty goals this coming year. Why I chose 2016 may have to do with the fact that 2015 went by so fast that I feel like I missed the entire year. Flat out missed it. So yes, this is my resolution-to be aware and conscience of my minutes.
I wish you all a beautiful time ahead.
Cheers to all.
Around the corner from where I live there is this Mexican Grocery store. And right now I am enjoying a Mexican Squirt. That’s Squirt made with pure cane sugar. No high-fructose corn syrup in it and it is delicious. I enjoyed being in the market. The store clerk was friendly, ask me if it was my first time there, it wasn’t. He was super kind.
They sell all types of peppers, homemade salsa, they even prepare fresh tacos during lunch hour, and they also sell cacti. How do you even prepare cactus? I don’t know, but while I was there I felt like I was worlds away. Away from the normal unrelenting drone of this American life. Yet, I was less than one mile from my house.
The point here is – I think I am suffering from too much. Too much of everything. Seeing too much, hearing too much. Owning too much, and feeling too much. Thinking too much. Worrying too much. I am officially on overload.
I need to shut it all off. I need to shut it all down. I need to try not to notice. I need to listen.
I need to listen to that voice inside that has been screaming at me – STOP!
So today I stop. I am really going to stop tomorrow, I don’t know exactly what I will do, but it wont require me to worry, to think, or to rush here or there.
I am officially in the stop mode. I don’t care if I don’t know how to be a miracle worker right now…..I am stop mode. If I don’t learn how to meditate this week, so what?
I already feel better just saying I am in “stop mode.” Seems silly but it appears to be helping me.
I hope you can STOP also…..it’s awesome and I just started a few minutes ago. I guess it doesn’t take 40 day to stop.
The other night I was sound asleep in a very deep sleep. A strong noise, maybe a thud or a bang, woke me to a stir. Wasn’t quite sure if I heard something or if I was dreaming, but now I was awake either way. And to be honest I was a bit annoyed because I was enjoying the solid rest.
Next thing I see is my phone lighting up. It was on mute without a vibrate, by the time I got to it I missed a call. This late at night? Who? What?
My Mother had called. She left a message which I listened to and she said it was no big deal, it was 11:30 and she couldn’t sleep. I looked at the time of the message and it wasn’t 11:30PM at all, it was about 2:30 in the morning.
I returned her call immediately, and before I could even think I was dressed and driving on the freeway. I was going to pick her up to take her to ER, just to be on the safe side. We found out she was suffering from congestive heart failure. We had no idea.
Today we are a few days out, and she is back home on several new medications.
But what was it? A noise or a different kind of something? What awoke me in time not miss her call? I don’t know. I may never know, but whatever it was it saved my Mother’s life.
So I thank you “it.”
You know what is really really frightening?
It really is scary to “not care.” Like to just not give a rats ass about stuff. All kinds of stuff -anything you can think of -stuff.
It’s not the same as surrendering, is it? I don’t think so. I don’t know.
All I know is I can not control anything, and it doesn’t matter what happens because there is nothing I can do about it.
I remember being preoccupied about so many things and trying to make everything just right. I would stress, worry, panic, and in turn guess what happened in the end? Nothing ever turned out “just right.” Absolutely nothing.
Worst nightmares became reality.
It’s not like you or I can change the past no matter how hard we try. And forget the future, that is way out of the human being’s capability.
There is only one thing we actually control; our minds.
We do choose our thoughts. We can control whether we care about this, or that, or the other thing. That is it. Pretty simple.
I still don’t care much, but I know it’ is by my own choice.
I am ready, so ready, to think nothing. No thoughts. This mind of mine needs a serious rest.
Self sabotage. Ever hear of it? It’s when we know better, and yet we continue to follow ideas, thoughts and actions that will not get us where we want to be.
Why do we do this? I have no clue, but I am willing to try to figure it out. So here are my guesses:
1. We are comfortable in habit.
2. We are afraid of failure.
3. We are lazy
4. We have no will power.
5. We have low expectations.
6. We are afraid of change.
7. We doubt our abilities.
Those are the top seven reasons that just popped in my head. You may have come up with different reasons. (I would love to hear from you in the comments)
Now, I want to take those same reasons and listen to them as if a child was telling me why they could never ride a two-wheeler.
My reaction to the child’s reasons was simple and automatic. I effortlessly and instantly offered encouragement. I quickly reassured the child that there was no harm in trying. I let him/her know the worst that could happen isn’t that bad, and that she could always try again.
So why is it as adults we (I) fail to encourage ourselves? I don’t have the answers, nothing is popping into my head.
As a matter of fact, I must take this little post and apply it to myself. It’s time to encourage myself. Wish me well. Cheers to all of you out there who are trying to break out of your existing patterns.
Tip: Treat yourself like you care about yourself.
Inspiration: “Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.” –Jim Rohn
One-day one-thing: I am going to paint or draw something today.
The other day, early while I was still in bed. I got a text. Yes, I am one of those idiots that sleeps with her iPhone. A bad habit I will attempt to break at a later date. Anyway the text said come see Stevie Wonder at 9:30 am today then vote early.
This was only an hours notice, and well I had already voted early, but I convinced my Husband to get up on this cold Saturday and at least vote. We figured if the Stevie Wonder crowd wasn’t too big and if we could get parking we’d check it out.
Here’s the thing – we finally found a parking garage and the attendant basically told us “You can turn around here and go in the lot cross the street for half price.” Okay cool, we thought. I turned around and at that very moment a street spot opened up….free parking. ( I do have a parking angel – another post) I got out of the car, and glanced at the sidewalk and found a penny shining back at me. I pick it up. (I always pick up money I see on the ground)
The scene was eerie, it was empty. Long story short, we grabbed a couple coffees from a guy who just moved here from Bosnia. He kept saying “I have no power at home, I am from Bosnia, this has never happened to me”…” never in Bosnia.”
Then two perfectly detailed Black Escalades drove pass….we run across the street and are in the first row of the small crowd. Stevie Wonder!
He played for about 50 minutes, and opened with this song: Please follow the words in the video….and enjoy.
After he finished his set, he walk the rails, talking to people, shaking hands, and giving hugs…..He got to me and I asked him to warm my hand. He held it for awhile and gave me two love squeezes. WOW.
All I can think of is the power of his message, the power of his soul and the beauty that he creates. I am in awe. And I feel extremely privileged to have spent my freezing Saturday morning with him. And I thank him for being who he is.
The time to love is now. Right now. Stevie, you helped me when I needed it.
What a difference a year can make. Last year at this time I was highly stressed over everything. I was dreading the holidays, and looking for answers to my dysfunctional family of origin. I was burdened without knowing where my next home might be and uncertain as to our future regarding EVERYTHING.
I carried my disappointments front and center all the while trying to make sense out of things that had no answers. This practice lead me to intense sadness, and counter-productive thoughts. Even though I logically was writing about solutions which contained numerous rationalizations, I wasn’t really seeing positive results.
I used to describe my living condition as a sort of limbo hell both physically and emotionally. In essence that was what it was; limbo hell.
I wrote. I read. I planned. I learned. I tried everything, nothing worked.
You know why nothing worked?
Nothing worked because I thought writing the ideas, reading them, and believing I knew something would be enough to make things better. I am going to tell you right here and now….”knowing” anything is worthless without “doing.”
And that is where I am now. I am in the “doing phase.” I am, once and for all, dropping all the slights and the hurts that I perceived over the past several years of my life. Seriously, in order to get anywhere you have to stop “feeling” the past. I use the word ” feeling” the past instead of living, or thinking about the past because it’s how you feel that squashes out your light.
Very soon after I started this “journey to living better with less” I broke down and cried when told I had too many framed photos. That scene made me well aware that my journey was about much more than just “stuff.” I know why I cried. Inside all those frames I saw photos of better times. I cried because I was forced to acknowledge time had vanished into thin air faster than a blink. It all hit me at once like a ton of bricks. I was without. I was in limbo.
Fast forward to now:
This year I am hosting Thanksgiving for my entire family, including my family of origin and I am doing it with an open heart. That’s right, for those people who I have said terrible things about and who I saw as a problem. Those who I shut out and avoided. I am kind of shocked about this myself, but I have thought about this for a awhile and it feels right.
They say time heals, but I don’t think it is time. I think we heal by our own choice. I am not saying it’s easy, but at some point in time you have to move on and you have to let go. You need to live in the present, and see the here and now and you have to eliminate feeling the past. The past is gone.
So now, maybe now, I can say I have grown. Maybe I am capable of putting everything I have learned to work. I’ll tell you this much, it feels like a huge heavy boulder has been remove from my soul, and that is a good thing. I don’t plan on ever holding on to emotional garbage again. From my experience emotional clutter is far more destructive than any of the items collecting dust in my storage unit.
Time to carry on. Cheers!
Do you know how many assholes clutter this world?
Here’s the thing, we are supposed to take the high ground and let it go. Let it be, etc, but you know what? The assholes aren’t getting the message this way.
I am sure you have read about the “everyone gets a ribbon” syndrome that is plaguing American youth. Well this same idea, of not telling someone they suck, applies to assholes, jerks and rude people.
We ignore them. We take the high ground. As a result they see no negative repercussions for their rude inconsiderate behavior. They think what they are doing is acceptable, a-okay, so they continue. Most of these people have no person close enough to them who will say , “Hey knock it off, you’re being an asshole.”…..They live in this bubble of self- absorption, only thinking about their own needs as a primary focus of each and every waking moment.
So here is the question: Do you call them out, or let them continue? You know if they continue they will pass it on to their off-spring, thus we are promoting the trait. Or do you protect your own well-being and peace of mind? In other words, let them live in their pathetic asshole lives and cut them out of your circles, and move on. ( thus living in a bubble of your own creation)
Yep, everyone knows an asshole, has seen an asshole, and encounters them frequently. From what I see there appears to be a growing number of these characters around. Are we somewhat to blame for allowing them to exist? Has our choice not to get “involved”with their low-life behavior embolden them? Are we now “Asshole-Enablers?” (AE groups starting at a church near you)
I see both sides of this coin. I know I want a peaceful and kind life, but can I have that when I am not doing my part to squelch the jerk? When I look the other way, am I being selfish by helping only myself and not society as a whole?
It’s like that show on T.V. called “What would you do?“ Notoriously they have actors acting very badly, and they wait to see if anyone (any civilian in the area), will speak up. Audiences are joyful, even tearful, when someone stands up to the asshole and conversely the audience is totally disgusted when the people look the other way.
I believe it takes a village to raise a community, but those days appear to be gone for the most part.
I am positive I don’t have the answer here. I am working on this one because I think we as a people have to start playing an active role in what we see and what we deem as acceptable in our communities and in our lives. Sadly I am not yet ready to play in the mud, but some days I get real close.
Please let me know your thoughts on this one, I am very interested in all points of view.