judgement

Un-learning or de-programing

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Un-learning is a new concept to me. Because I always believed that information was power and that I should acquire as much information as possible.  Mind you in this case , I am not talking about  real text book learning, just learning from what I experience and what I am subjected to in my life.

I never looked at my  intake as something that wasn’t good for me.   I took it all in without much of any sort of filter. I think I could classify much of this particular information as pure clutter that clouds my reality. I passively accepted images and messages, comments and ideas.  Just took them in as what? the truth? maybe not, but they each received  space on the bookshelves in my mind.

"I did not know" by Brian Kasstle

Through my blog I seem to be  learning more about the mistakes I have made instead of the my successes.  This in of itself can be very over whelming.  All of a sudden while putting the pieces together you may find the errors of your own ways.  You think to yourself, “Wow that wasn’t very bright of me to do this or that.”  It can make for a miserable realization.  Looking back sucks.  It sucks when you acknowledge your mistakes, because there isn’t a un-do button anywhere.

That’s why the phrase, ” If I knew then what I know now…” is so commonly uttered and grumbled.

My rapid assumptions are dangerous, and knee jerk in nature.  Without even considering alternatives, in a nano second, my mind jumps to a judgement, but based on what?  What was learned in grade school? maybe? learned from home? or what was learned at a first job?  That’s insanity.

It is time for me undo many thought processes and beliefs that put me where I am today.  I need to start growing again mentally.  I want to be free of the useless bullsh*t clutter in my head.  I want to live a more fluid life, in the present, without the burden old beliefs in my head stomping out new possibilities.

Stretching your mind beyond your self-imposed limitations is hard work, but I completely believe you have to get past any and all stale assumptions/beliefs that skew your reality or that are holding you back in any shape or form.  Some times these thoughts/beliefs are like voices (doesn’t matter who originally said the words) they knock you down as to why you cant do this or that.  It’s crazy thinking.   In our own minds, you would think we could control this better.  I am going to try.

Today and every day forward, this is one of my goals.  I will write it at the top of my to do list.  I am going to start asking myself, before I register an assumption or judge; “Do I really knows this to be true?”

Tip: Try to notice when others people make assumptions and ask yourself if you ever do the same thing?

Inspiration:” You do not define anyone with your judgment. You only define yourself as someone who needs to judge. ” – Wayne Dyer

One-day one-thing: Conscientiously choose to have an open mind all day today: repeat daily.

Everyone struggles.

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I woke early, did yoga, froze at the dog park and then made my way to the office.  The picture below is what I did when I first got to the office today.   I am sending it to my son in Boston, who won’t be home on Turkey day.  I hope think it will make him laugh happy.

Note to my son.

Then I ate lunch.  Well not really, because I graze.  I eat a little for a while then stop.  Today it was the veggie burrito bowl, without the slimy vegetables.  A meatless dip of sorts;  black beans, guacamole, rice, lettuce, a little white cheese, hot salsa  and chips.  Yum.

It’s good (most of the time) to be your own boss.   I get my work done when I know it has to be completed.  Sometimes I work really long hours, other times I have the luxury to do as I please.  Today is one of those days.

Earlier while at the dog park this chilly morning I had the pleasure of speaking to a woman whose husband is an investment banker.  She explained to me how tough the economy has been on his investment firm and how that they personally have had to cut back on their vacations.  She let me know they lived in the most expensive neighborhood in my town.  It was nice to hear this point of view.

I toyed with the idea of telling her that actually we lost our home and were living in my mother’s house, but I think that may have made her feel like a total jerk.  So I just listened.  She went on to tell me that she hoped that her children would learn something from their hardship.  Their “hardship” being that they weren’t going on as many vacation this year as in past years.  Her kids are 8, 10, and 13.

Bora Bora

On Wednesday morning at the dog park, I spoke to a young man who just left the Marines.  For some reason, I was very nosy.  I kept asking him questions.  I wanted to know what it was like, what he did there, how it effected him, and how he was adjusting back in the states.  I apologized and told him, “I’m so sorry. I don’t mean to interrogate you, like this is any of my business.”  He responded, ” No, really it’s okay, talking to people like this really helps.”

He was a sharp shooter.  He told me that every single day he would see suicide bombings, mostly children blowing themselves up, because, he said, “they believe in Allah.”   He told me that news never reaches the states, and there’s so much more.  He also told me about getting shot from friendly fire.  It was a bullet  from a  .50 Browning machine gun.  He went on to explain all about the BrowningMG and its bullet size.  Then promptly he dropped the topic of his injury.

Far left .50 Browning machine gun bullet

So I met two new friends.  I was open to both of them.  Their stories enriched my life in some manner.  I can feel judgement is trying to find it’s way into my head, but I am not going to let it in.  I am not going to try to figure out anything I heard, anymore than my either of my dogs would try to figure it out.

I played at the park with people who were there.  And those moments are gone.  Only now exists.

And right now, I am thankful, very very thankful.

Happy Friday.

Tip: Listen and learn, try to leave judgement out of the equation.

Inspiration: “The biggest mental roadblocks that you will ever have to overcome are those represented by your self-limiting beliefs.”~ Brian Tracy

One-day one-thing: Sort your linens, some towels are ready to become rags.