We all are aware that the media has taken all the good of the Baltimore protests and turn it into the destruction of the Baltimore riots! I ask everyone to counter this misrepresentation by posting of peaceful photos of demands for justice. Do it anywhere and everywhere you can. Thank you and spread the word!
I am deeply troubled by the state of our country.
I deplore the past actions and the more recent actions of our police force.
We are living in what can be best describe as a police state, the early stages.
Moreover, I can say with confidence that racism is rampant and it can’t hide any longer.
The global and national protests give me hope.
We are not alone.
I pray our voices stay strong, loud and undeterred.
We can stand united. We will be heard.
We can teach tolerance.
We can choose love over hate.
For life of me I do not understand mean people. I know what bitchy is, and I know what angry is and I am fine with both those in limited quantities. I mean that’s just part of human nature. Who among us hasn’t had a bad day? But mean is something I will never comprehend.
I am getting a first hand lesson in the power of mean. But I have also realized that I can take away that power of mean simply by stepping outside my feelings and observing as if I were a third party. Let me tell you what I have seen as that third party.
I have seen the depth of despair and confusion in the eyes of the mean person. I have witness someone out of control, unable to stop themselves long enough to find the right words. I have seen the face of hate. In their state of meanness, which to me is void of all love, they scan their brains quickly taunting me to engage. But I don’t. I have learned to step outside of myself, and observe. It’s a weird position, and quite new to me. In the past I would definitely shoot back and lose no matter what. No one ever wins in “mean.”
It’s shocking to me, because now I see it so clearly. Before now I would engage and not be able to think straight.
I don’t want someone in my life that treats me poorly. I don’t want someone in my life that holds anger and hostilities towards me. For whatever reasons, unknown to me, I am the one that receives what ever sh*t they want to throw. I have even received the silent treatment, which is hysterical to watch from afar, as if I care to talk to someone so mean.
Mean people don’t seem to know about love. They just don’t. They don’t know how to show it, give it, receive it or feel it. They may have read about it but it’s just not in their nature. Unless they chose to learn about it and change their core beliefs, they will continue to live on with the weight of bitterness, hate and anger baring down on their souls. I don’t even think they know they are missing out on anything.
You see it’s not about making points, or winning an argument, it’s all about what you want in your life. A cold loveless existence just isn’t for me. As I declutter I am purging my thoughts that someone else will ever change.
Instead I have changed. I have changed by not taking in the hostility anymore. I find this approach both powerful and liberating. Any sadness I held for what could have been is gone. I have throw away all my “could-have-been(s).”
Here is a more in depth look at “How to Combat Emotional Warfare and Root Out the Manipulative, Abusive People in Your Life” (this article showed up in my email just now-weird)
Tip: Learn to protect yourself; just walk away if someone is treating you unkindly.
Inspiration: “Anger and intolerance are the enemies of correct understanding.”- Mohandas K. Gandhi
One-day one -thing: Stop thinking about what could-have-been.
I, like many other people find themselves always seeing a digital clock that says 11:11. It’s uncanny for me. It can happen when a clock isn’t even set to the proper time. Sh*t happens in my life and then I look at the clock and say, “Guess what time it is? 11:11 again.” This doesn’t happen to anyone else in my immediate family, just me.
Today is the grand day 11:11:11, and I was told to go buy 11 lottery tickets or something to that effect. I don’t know, the way my luck has gone recently I am not sure I even want to do that.
This is what I know for sure. My greatest luck steams from my greatest love, my Husband. When we got married, we didn’t know if we would ever be able to have children. I vividly remember stopping for a margarita, and tears welling up in my eyes telling my husband, “I’m never going to get pregnant.” I shouldn’t have been drinking because I was already pregnant. We had no idea that the next two would arrive on their own. Which was pretty much immediately after our first was born. They are called Irish triplets, three babies born in less that three years.
When I was twelve or thirteen I was in a huge car accident. Last thing I remember as the orange Chevy Nova with black stripes rolled over was the interior dome light, it was white with a flower pattern, I can still see it clearly. I have been in
five six car accidents total, three fender benders and three very major. When I was about twenty I completely totaled a car. The cop that drove me 15 miles to the hospital stayed in the waiting room. He asked if I was sure I was okay, and then asked me out. I was too stupid and self absorbed to even consider how incredibly caring and kind he was. I was young and naive, I thought everyone in the world was thoughtful, nice and kind. He said it was a miracle I was still alive. I had no clue until days later when I actually saw the car.
I’ve got a million of these stories. They all live in my past. Some aren’t so happy and some hurt a lot. I struggle with my past like everyone else, yet I also know how blessed I am. How do I balance this? I have hurts that I can recognize for what they are. I know that I can’t change them, but the hurt lingers deep down in at my core. I don’t dwell on these hurts anymore, thank God I am past that stage. But to be quite honest I thought that if I didn’t think about them, or dwell on them, they would vanish. That’s not how it works, folks.
They are part of me. All the scars, physical and emotional, all the lines in my face and everything else you can’t see is what make me; me. The same goes for you. You are a total of your thoughts and all your experiences, the good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful up until this very point in time.
The cynical side of me says, I guess this just means; that which doesn’t kill you make you “not-dead.” The better side of me says, I am so fortunate and so grateful and everything that has happened brought me to who I am now.
Moving forward should be a cake walk. It seems obvious to me that we should concentrate on making every experience as positive as humanly possible. This would build more of the beautiful and good inside and less of the bad and ugly. Makes perfect sense. Right? Right.
BUT – I got hurt yesterday emotionally. Words were said that hurt me at my core. I let those words in. I couldn’t brush it off. Even when I was angry inside, I was aware. I told myself , this isn’t good for me let it go. I rattled off unkind words (f-bombs uncut) when driving alone in my car, and kept telling myself to stop. I felt out of control. I was so hurt, in tears, in shock and really angry.
Truth is I am not powerless and either are you. I handled the situation incorrectly. I should know by now, that this person will take any opportunity to hurt me rather than help me. I should be alerted by a warning signal when this person opens their mouth. ( Is there an app for that? )
What I should have done was laugh out loud and say something like, ” Now, you’re just talking crazy talk” or “You’ve got to be joking” and left it at that. Or better yet, I should have ignore it all together and walked away. I really should have walked away without speaking.
But I couldn’t leave it alone, I asked “What did you say?! what did you say?! I’d like you to say that to my children!” I slammed the door as I left. I was train wreck.
I hope this time is the last time I have to learn this same old lesson. Big heavy sigh.
Anyway that was yesterday. Today is Friday. The best Friday ever 11-11-11 and I am about to win 11 million dollars. Cheers!
Tip: When someone kicks you when you are down do not respond, just walk away.
Inspiration: “You are what you think … geez, that’s frightening.” ~ Lily Tomlin
One-day one-thing: Splurge. Do something for yourself.