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year end rambling….

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I’ve been pondering, yes more than usual, and I think that I am going to throw some of my thoughts out there.  No order, no goal.

I’m sick and tired of the economy.  And seeing as I am part of it, I’m going on strike.  For the year 2017 I will only buy necessities like food and toilet paper. And of course home repairs, car repairs, and vet bills…..but you get the idea.  F-them.

About social media, yeah it sucks.  It time sucks and it can be a wasteful distraction from better things.  I mean seriously, you’d feel one hundred times better if you took a nap rather than spend an hour on Facebook. Cutting back, but not cutting out.

And regarding Donald, I dont want to hear what he tweeted.  Until a story is actually news worthy, I’m tuning the Donald out.  Can I tell you something? When I hear his name my stomach literally turns.  He, and the mention of him, makes me physically sick.

I will support issue that are dear to my heart.  Mother Theresa once said,

“I was once asked why I don’t participate in anti-war demonstrations. I said that I will never do that, but as soon as you have a pro-peace rally, I’ll be there.”

I never understood it until this year.  It’s that mentality that I have to carry to get through this f-up world.  War and social issues are complicated and there is just way too much negativity.  My body can’t take any additional turmoil.  So I hope this year, to support some of the most simplest causes protecting human rights, animal rights and our environment.

You do know I am extremely liberal.  And by the way, I am proud of that.

I made a list to live by, for my daily grind….it’s a bit over reaching.   I can’t find it now. Shit.  I forget everything.  It was things to do everyday.  Making life habits.  Now I have to think it all up again.

  1. read
  2. give something
  3. do art
  4. play with dogs
  5. write something
  6. I cant remember… probably yoga….I’ve been meaning to take that up for years.

Anyway you get the idea.  I just can’t waste another year filling my head with all the crap in the world that I can not control.

Those are my thoughts for now. Just ramblings …. I hope to be writing better stuff real soon…..Carry on and cheers!

Out of the snail box

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I am currently drowning in a sea of paper.  Paper that I never ask to recieve.  All junk.  Junk snail mail.

We closed on our new house in April, and I still have not changed my address.  I am afraid of the mail.  Actually I am terrified as to how much more will show up.

I have so many papers from the kids, the business, my many other non-profitable wastes of time, bank cards, student loans, medical billings….you name it, and it keeps growing.  I am sure some of you can feel my pain.  I just want to be left alone.  Remember Kramer and the post office episode:

That’s where I am….. “I want out, permanently.”

I am tire of the mindset that something important will be in the mail…..it is never important.  Never. If it is important someone  will knock on your door and make you sign for it.  Been there and done that a few times, and guess what ?  It is usually important, and usually not good news, so why would I want any more of that?

This is all getting to my clutter “issue”…..Okay let’s call this one a Problem with a capital “p”.  I have been trying to de-clutter for what feels like and eternity now, and I don’t feel like I am getting anywhere.

I want to be honest, but I can’t even bring myself to take a photo of where I am sitting.  Okay, you talked me into it…..I am only sharing this photo to make you feel better…..here goes…..gotta find my iPhone…. still too lazy to get my big camera out.  Ok ready……

This is bad.

Granted we are in the middle of a total renovation of our house, and we haven’t yet finished even one room.  The renovation is taking far longer than we ever could have imagined in a million years.

Dining room table/desk inventory:  Wine glass from last night (nice touch gonna have to rinse that out for tonight), dog brushes thus add “dog hair to my clutter”, a paint palette, a white board, a printer, a stapler , headphones, a new light fixture from Ikea….and of course junk mail, and papers.

This isn’t acceptable. I gots me a problem.

What to do when you are overwhelmed and unable to focus:

1. Drink alcohol.

2. Stay up real late browsing the web.

3. Make zero attempt to fix this situation because you know it’s only going to happen again.

4. Acknowledge you have this problem, because they  say that’s the “first step” to fixing it…..Do this so you feel better and can justify another glass of wine.

5. Talk with anyone around about funny things that have  happen in your life….This causes you to laugh and forget you even have a messy desk/table.

6. Make a plan in the back of your head as how to procrastinate cleaning up this mess tomorrow.  After all weekends were made to enjoy.  We only get so many summer weekends in a year. Make it a good one!

Cheers!

Okay, so yeah this isn’t the way to get anything done.  It’s the tomorrow of yesterday, and I am about to go to the park.  By nightfall I plan to have a living room and a dining room that are identifiable.  Wish me luck!

“Do you feel lucky?”

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It hasn’t been much more than a week and already I am breaking retracting the contract on our new house.  I was ready for the experience to live in the city with everyone and anyone.  We haggled a bit and signed an agreement last Wednesday.  Over the weekend we checked out the yard because we needed to determine where the fence should be installed for our dogs.

Two days ago, I was at the property with my fence contractor.  He had to measure the entire perimeter, and as we spoke he began to discuss the area behind the garage.  We walked over and to my surprise I found this:

He said, “This is fresh, someone is sending a message.”  It could have been wet for all I know, I was too stunned to touch it.   The graffiti wasn’t there when we made our offer, it wasn’t there Saturday as we walked the yard.  No other nearby garage got tagged, just ours.

This little white girl raised in suburbia, isn’t fit for this.  I started thinking I would actually have to shoot someone.  Then my mind raced on, and I thought if they come in my house, I’d have to shoot them inside and all their guts would be everywhere.  My dogs would probably eat nasty thug guts.  Gross.  At that point, I decided its better to shoot when they are on the porch or when they step onto the property. Less mess.

Oh my God.  Am I going to live like this? I have never even held a gun in my hand, but you know what?  I am going to learn. And when I get good, I am getting the biggest caliber I can handle.  Peace,  love,  don’t f*ck with me.

I called the police, they told me to send the images to the detective unit that handles gangs.  I did that.  I will never hear back, because I am not buying that house. Ever. This is not going to be my problem.

I was only joking previously when I compared this house to the one in Gran Torino .  (awesome movie) Little did I know just how close I was to the truth about lucky house number #7.

However, I do still see the luck in this.  I was lucky to find the graffiti  before we closed and transferred the title.  We literally dodge a bullet or maybe two.  Call me crazy, but so many things lined up, it makes me feel like someone was watching over us.  ( I like to believe that is true, because it warms my heart)

I just sent off the mutual release form and hopefully that will be signed tomorrow by the sellers.  Back to square one, just a bit wiser and a little stronger.

Stay Tuned.  Cheers.

Update 2/24/2012: Seller says they will NOT sign the release.  However, we never signed or initialed the seller’s counter offer so there is no contract in place.  Hopefully now they will sign the mutual release.

Tip: Trust yourself.  I have said this before but it bares repeating, trust your instincts they will never let you down.

Inspiration: ” We all have our own life to pursue, our own kind of dream to be weaving. And we all have some power to make wishes come true, as long as we keep believing.” – Louisa May Alcott

One-day one-thing: Be grateful when something works out.

100,000 miles

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She lay lifeless in the medium.  Two people were standing over her without any expression, as if they themselves were not there.  Four cars scattered about in the snow covered grassy area separating the westbound from the eastbound traffic. A fifth car sat damaged on the far right shoulder of eastbound lanes.

It never occurred to me that I would see a dead person on my drive to NYC.  She had obviously been thrown from one of the vehicles. Her body was tangled on top the snow in an unnatural state.  I could tell she was dead from a distance.

Thoughts rushed through my head;  like if I had left 3 minutes earlier, I might have been in that accident. Or I bet they were just heading out to go shopping and in no shape or form did they expect this.  That poor woman, her family, her children, oh my God!  All because of a slippery road, an accident.  No one wanted this to happen.  No one.

It was the first snow of the season, and the roads had not been touched.  No salt, no plowing.  Actually there wasn’t enough snow to plow, but there was plenty to make it extremely slippery and dangerous driving.  It was awful.  As I continued on my way there were more fender benders, a  pick-up that had rolled-over, and another truck that lost it’s front wheel (not just the tire – the entire wheel) – it must have hit something with high impact.

My driving speed raged between 20 and 40 miles per hour,  I was considering turning around.  But little by little it cleared up, the roads improved and I was decidedly on my way.

Traffic was light until I hit the Delaware Gap, from there in it got worse, much worse.  Jill, my GPS voice,  is old out-dated.  She doesn’t know anything about the detours and construction before the Holland Tunnel.  By this time, it was dark, she directed me onto several side streets in Jersey City.    Surprisingly these streets were loaded, completely packed full, with Christmas lights. It was stunning.  Fast forward through the H-tunnel and Canal Street (both total chaotic messes) and I finally made my way to Brooklyn, arriving only one hour past my original ETA.

Today I cracked 100,000. miles on my Odyssey.  All miles that we put on the car.   We’ve never done that with any other car, so it’s an accomplishment of sorts. I knew it would happen on this trip.

However what remains is the snap shot of what I didn’t expect.  Except for the two people gazing over the body, each driver stood alone motionless next to their own cars.

In my head, they are all still standing there, frozen in time.

(Post note: I have been unable to verify any details of this accident, maybe she lived)

And Halloween was Over

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The costume came off.  Ms Rat wrote one chapter.  And on the second day I wasn’t ready to write chapter two.  So novel writing isn’t going to be my entertainment for November.   I still have my book and I have ideas that swim around in my head, but it’s about to get really hectic around here.  My mission for November is to manage everything – better.

When I boil it down.  The issue here is my ability to schedule time within time constraints which I can not change.  I don’t like constraints.  Or schedules, or a million other life circumstances that I can not control.

How can a chronic schedule hater change her ways?  Can it be done?  Yes!

(I’m not even buying that, but I will try)

I have decided to create different “day types” so I know the general schedule in my head.  I will start with two four categories.  The only days by name that mean anything to me are Friday and Sunday, all the other day names mean nothing so I won’t bother with that as part of my schedule. Instead, I’ll identify my days by colors.  Colors makes me happy.

Below I have created  four different colored days.  As time passes I will realize that I can’t do absolutely everything on a “yellow” day.  I believe this system will help me to recognize realistic limitations without stressing me out.  I am going to give it a try.

Full Day @ Office

Yellow: Full work days: wake early choices for that time: write, read, yoga, meditate and/or walk. Then to the office.

Part Office Day

Pinkish: Part time work days: wake early choices for that time:  write, read, yoga, meditate and/or walk, then dog park.  Then to the office.

Get things done

Purple: General shopping, vacation days, cleaning, simple chores, dog park, and maybe go out, this color day may represent traveling (driving) also.  Office only if absolutely necessary.

Usually Sundays - no commitments

Blue&Green: I do what I want, when ever I want + dog park  unless I am sick like with the flu or something then it a rest day.

That’s the plan.  I am good with this and if this is what it takes to reign in my expectations to fit with reality – so be it.  I’m like a 4 year-old that needs everything very simple.

I am tired right now.  I was up and at the airport by 5:30am.  I have a full day at the office ahead of me.  Definitely a yellow day.   Power up.  I can do this.  I’ve got ten minutes to get in the car and zoom.

benefit of getting up early

Tip: Don’t come un-glued when plans change or if you experience interruptions -just go with the flow.

Inspiration: “Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.”~Gloria Steinem

One-day one-thing: Listing some items on Ebay.