meditation

Day 3

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“I want to live in the woods”

Well, I am trying to get through this stuff  and it seems quite easy.  But is it helping?  I am not sure.

Forty days, it says, in forty days a new perspective.

The concept is to follow this book, “May Cause Miracles” one day at a time and do the daily exercise.  So far it isn’t very time consuming and that is certainly a huge relief.  Maybe I will stick with it.  I know any lasting change will take time, consistency and effort.   Actually, I see this is a life-style change, so I know I will have to work at it every day of my life.  In time that commitment should become a blessing.  

At least that is how I see it.

Right now I am on day 3.  Yes, day three.  Today’s affirmation is “Love did not cause this.”  Of course it didn’t.  Love is pure.  Fear can not exist where love exists.

I really can’t let myself down.

Note: These posts will be rambling with no purpose.  I want to write how I feel through the course of this book so I can reflect on it later. So please don’t expect anything more than that, or you will be disappointed.  Cheers friends!

against the odds- 40 day attempt

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Have you ever felt like you were ready to change, to start something to better you life but you felt restricted by people around you?  It’s like trying to change life long patterns that no longer fit your dreams, and people around you take every chance to mock or dismiss your ideas.

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I have felt that way for several years now.  And I believe I allowed those outside influences to make my attempts at changing terribly difficult.

Face it, we all know there are productive methods for example, get yourself out of a rut. But when you talk about it, there seems someone is always more than ready to tell you how it won’t work, or you’ll never stick with it.  Then they might go as far to point out several of your past failed attempts to change.  That is the sort of thing that crushes me.

Even changing my eating habit is still to this day met with sideways glances and grimacing faces.   Usually from people who are closest to me.  “You eat that?! Gross.”   They may even mock where I read about it and challenge it’s validity.  In any case, the negative responses really effect me.  I wish they didn’t do this , but they do.

Some say you have to ignore them, easier said then done.   Others say you have to remove them from your life, and surround your self with more like-minded people.  Again easier said then done.

So today, I have to ignore them.  And tomorrow I have to ignore them, and for the rest of my life I have to ignore them.  I have to look past what they say, and stay on my path.  This is going to be hard, because my auto-pilot reactions is to self doubt.  My thoughts race to:  ” They are right, I do fail all the time. I will never be able to change.”  And the words I hear, plus the word I then tell myself  reinforce constant failures as my truth.

I am going to try.  Again.  I know that this will all be on me.  If I fail one day, I will have to get back up.  It all sounds so cliche, but I have no other options.  I have to gather every once of encouragement no matter if I find it.

Right now this is my guide:  A book:   May Cause Miracles  by Gabrielle Bernstein

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I’ll blog about  my 40 day journey.  Cheers.

Frightening

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You know what is really really frightening?

It really is scary to “not care.”  Like to just not give a rats ass about stuff.  All kinds of stuff -anything you can think of -stuff.

It’s not the same as surrendering, is it?  I don’t think so.  I don’t know.

All I know is I can not control anything, and it doesn’t matter what happens because there is nothing I can do about it.

I remember being preoccupied about so many things and trying to make everything just right.  I would stress, worry, panic, and in turn guess what happened in the end?  Nothing ever turned out “just right.”  Absolutely nothing.   

Worst nightmares became reality.   

It’s not like you or I can change the past no matter how hard we try.   And forget the future, that is way out of the human being’s capability.

There is only one thing we actually control; our minds.

We do choose our thoughts.  We can control whether we care about this, or that, or the other thing.  That is it.  Pretty simple.

I still don’t care much, but I know it’ is by my own choice.

I am ready, so ready,  to think nothing.  No thoughts.  This mind of mine needs a serious rest.

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Cheers!