Well, a few weeks ago, we placed a bid on a house. And that stopped me dead in my tracks on my journey to living better with less. I thought I better not get rid of anything until we find out if we got the house. Well we didn’t get the house. I wont go into how perfect is was for us, because then I start to cry. I am not depressed, I swear. But I get really sad when I think about that house, because I knew we should have offered more. I didn’t follow my instinct.
Trust your gut feelings always; no exceptions
So like a wounded wild animal I am ready to lash out at all this crap in my life. Look at the mess inside this garage. It’s embarrassing. I didn’t even take photo of all my lawn furniture that’s in the driveway and patio. Winter’s coming. Snow flakes fell today. I am going to be ruthless. I swear. Watch out sh*t, you are going to hit the fan.
Bird feed, I am giving you all to the birds on the same day, today. Eat like kings little birdies. A bunch of old liquor, I think I will dump it down the drain. Garden hand tools: keep the best sell the rest. I have to sort my framed photos one more time and move the “keepers” inside, because they will just get ruined in this damp garage.
I am never going to get over losing the house.
It’s funny what a “house” does to you. It changes everything. I am not sure that is a good thing. Because I stopped. I stopped doing what I really wanted to do. I stop dreaming of new places. I put my goals on hold. I think I even stopped breathing. I was holding my breath waiting to hear. I fell back into old habits of placing importance on “things.”
I am so torn between what I know, what I’ve learned and an unknown future. I really thought we were close to a solution which in turn would become our decision. Now we’ve returned to the unknown.
To top off my disaster-week, I had to tell my husband I agreed to go out to Thanksgiving dinner with my mother and my three brothers who don’t even acknowledge our family exists. Why would I would I agree to such a dumb-ass thing? Well because until we find/buy a house, we are living in my 84 year old mother’s house. (I like to think of it as my Dad’s house, but he’s no longer living. ) She asked and she let me know that the “boys” were coming over here for cocktails before dinner regardless of whether we joined them or not. How lovely. So I said yes.
Post Script: I will make sure Thanksgiving a nice day for my husband and my children and our dogs. That will be easy. I like the idea of no dishes, and no cooking, so this will be okay. And two or three hours of dysfunctional-family-torture won’t kill us. We will be counting our blessings, that’s for sure! Because no matter what,through thick and thin, I have my Husband, my children and our animals. That’s all I need.
Tip: Never search for “tummy” or “gut” on Google.
Inspiration: “What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise.” ~ Oscar Wilde
One-day one-thing: Make plans for Thanksgiving weekend, it’s a fun weekend don’t let it slip away.
I have fallen behind in my de-cluttering of useless stuff, the junk in the garage, etc…. and now I am about to write a novel. I still have no clue as to what I am going to write, but it starts November 1, 2011, which is tomorrow.
I will be busy with that, and won’t have much time for Unpack the Rat. I’m going to continue my journey to living better with less for sure. Unpack the Rat has been the best thing that ‘s happened to me in a long time! I’ve learned so much.
Clearing out the emotional clutter
was is so incredibly important to me. Well come to think about it, all the cluttered areas are equally important to me. They’re all connected and they influence each other. I never, in a million years, imagined that clearing out boxes and shoes would lead to clearing out everything else and re-inventing my life.
I have a long road ahead, more work to be done, but it’s not as overwhelming as it was before. I hope to have some great accomplishments, tips, and stories to write about when I return to Unpack the Rat. I am excited. Life is good, even when it’s not. :)
Thank you for reading. I’ll be back.
Until then I wish you peace and love,
PostScript: I really value Unpack the Rat as a place I can unload my feelings, so I may not be able to stay away. This whole “novel” writing adventure is getting a bit intimidating.
Tip: “Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted.”~John Lennon
Every-day one thing: “Extend to each person, no matter how trivial the contact, all the care and kindness and understanding and love that you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again.” – Og Mandino
It’s time. This time, not next time, right now and right where ever you are.
(Please know I am addressing myself as well.)
No more excuses. Change your mind and change your life. Decide today that you are worth taking care of. Believe that there is nothing more important that taking care of yourself. Other people do it. We look at them in awe. We question how do they do it? Sometimes we get jealous. Maybe we claim they don’t have troubles, or they are younger, healthier, or they are rich, or they don’t have to work so they have the time. Over and over again we convince ourselves that they can have it all, because of something they have that we don’t.
Each time we make any excuse as to why we are not living our best life we are bullshitting ourselves – every single time.
I have no room to talk. I am right there with everyone. I have attempted so many times to get my sh*t together that I have all the tips embossed into my gray matter. Those tips, and they are good ones, didn’t help me at all. You know why? Because I never followed through with what they said. I would read self help books up to about page 30. You wouldn’t believe how many of these books I donated in my de-cluttering. I had to remove all the pathetic book marks. I never stuck with anything long enough to get to the point where I knew I was living my best life.
More importantly MOST importantly, I never cleared out all the other toxic beliefs, grudges, and negatives in my heart and mind. You have to have an open mind, that’s true. I had an open mind. What I didn’t have was any extra room in my mind. You have to have a clean slate, or at least some free space in your head where new ideas can begin to live and grow.
It’s somewhat like a chalk board. Try this:
Fill a chalk board with every thing that you have issues with, and things that makes you angry, and people who have hurt your feelings. Write down the negative things you say to yourself. Right down every regret you have. Write down any and all shame you carry. Write down the reasons you don’t exercise or eat right. Write down names of people who screwed you, or lied to you. I think you get the point.
Now step back. Look at that mess. There’s no room for anything else. Your board is full. Full of sh*t.
It’s time to erase that nasty chalkboard. Everything you wrote down doesn’t matter. Erase it. It just doesn’t do you any good, in fact every day you keep it on your board (in your brain), you suffer.
This can be a long painful process, but at a certain point in time you will reach a tipping point where, letting go of the ugly past/present becomes easier. You may even wonder why you didn’t do all this sooner, don’t worry that’s normal. Here are four simple things you can do this weekend to start re-wiring your brain.
1. Don’t gossip: It can be a habit. Just stop it. It is negative energy that saps you of positive emotions. It’s not nice and it attracts people who are not nice.
2. Compliment yourself: Acknowledge something that you do or did well. Be proud of it. It can be anything, even something as simple as cleaning out a cat box. Just say to yourself, “That was nasty but I did a good job of cleaning it and now it’s done, the cats will be happy.”
3. Be grateful: Every day express gratitude, and recall that gratitude throughout the day. Key word “express.” Let someone ( even yourself) know you are grateful.
4. Stop complaining: Cold turkey on this one. If you can’t say something nice stay silent.
This is only a start. I don’t know if this will work for anyone else, but I have used these four things and they have helped me.
I am working on changing my mental wiring, my life. I am starting to actually see a difference. It feels good. My old issues, they are still there, but they have
no power less influence over my thoughts and my decisions. Letting go doesn’t make things disappear, it just means you are no longer holding on to them.
Be conscientious of these four simple things for the entire weekend, what do you have to lose? Happy Friday. Cheers- I love Fridays!
And if you really want to enjoy your weekend try Sunday, simply.
Tip: Don’t be hard on yourself, stop talking yourself down.
- This is my goal in life.
One-day one-thing: Set one realistic goal to accomplish this weekend and do it.