habits

Free from the grip

Posted on Updated on

This is basically how I feel and what I believe in a nut shell.

Please watch and actually take a moment to see how materialism has shaped your life.  I was forced to look at my ways, and I am better for it.  At least, I feel better and I am happier.

I am free from the grip of corporations, and I strive to become even more free each and every day.

Cheers!

Better today

Posted on Updated on

Today I learned from the other day and simply removed myself from a conversation of which I didn’t want to participate in, and I am proud of myself.

It was so easy to just change the subject, get ignored, and slowly move away.  The conversation wasn’t a feel good conversation, and even though I have my own opinions on just about everything I just wanted a more positive day for myself.  So I got it.

smiley-happy-face-yellow

There you have it, an example of taking control of my environment.   I am still learning, so I know there is hope for you too.

Happy Father’s Day all you dads, keep being awesome!

Oh it’s Sunday so I shouldn’t be posting – got to go!  Cheers!

I let myself down

Posted on Updated on

I have to fess up today I did something that I have tried to stop doing…..getting into conversations that make me says things just to be nice, rather then just disagreeing and standing my ground or walking away.

I would categorize this as social clutter, when you are in a social setting, and there is no easy or graceful way out.  But that is twisted thinking, because there is always a way out.  You (meaning me) just has to either speak up, change the subject or walk away.  I felt dirty most the day because I slipped.

I mean seriously, I slipped bad…..I didn’t say much, yet I said too much of the wrong things.  Good thing it was a casual conversation, and nothing will come out of it except my re-learning the lesson to be true to myself, and take every step to create the world in which I want to spend my time.

I have said the following to myself lately and I like it a lot……”My world is what I make it at every moment.”  This is a challenge, but it’s empowering  to tune out the social clutter.  Just eliminate it from your thoughts.  It doesn’t go away.  No,  it’s out there poisoning other minds and upsetting various people, but you do not have to give it a home in you head.  Do not invite it in.

Remember you are what you think, not what you eat, that’s your body.  But you, your soul, is what you think and what you believe.  We have control over this…..even though it is difficult for sure, we still choose.

Feed your brain only good content…..Right now I am listening to classical music in the car, for a change.  I don’t even know who’s music I am taking  in but it’s very relaxing, and has emotion, and it is ever so beautiful.  I imagine all the individuals who worked at learning their instruments, practiced their art for hours, years, and then came together making it possible for me to hear their work while I drive in my dog van.  That is freakin’ awesome.

I feel lucky in traffic, because my car sounds wonderful like a loud sound track you might hear while at a movie.  My car becomes a safe-pod protected from the bitterness and negativity that is prevalent in the air of our current society.  At least that is how I interpret it.  Plus I even think my dogs like it.

So there you have it, we all slip up once in awhile.  Recognize and move on.

Peace, it takes practice.

Tip: Decide how you want to live and live it.

Inspiration: “ The whole point of being alive is to evolve into the complete person you were intended to be.” ~Oprah Winfrey

One-day one-thing: Listen, decide, and filter.

Negative force

Posted on Updated on

There’s something out there that wants to take me down.  I swear, I am doing all I can and bad sh*t keeps happening.

This morning, I was on my way to the dog park.  I started the engine and I hear a thump, and when I backed out there was a headless bloody creature dead on my driveway.  I don’t do well with gore, so a took the poop scooper, shielded my eyes and flung it into the bushes.

A little bloody organ remained stuck to the drive but I couldn’t stomach it.  So I left.

On my way home, the AC in the van didn’t work.  I thought that was peculiar, but things  got worse.  Every single service light on the dash was on.  Apparently every working part of my car was in distress.  Next the radio went silent, and then the car no longer let me know how fast I was going or how much gas I had.  All the gauges went dead. Just like the helpless creature on the drive.

I was able to get  home but a car was blocking the drive. I parked in the street, and that is where the car took it’s final breath.

This isn’t the only thing not going my way.  I have a person who wants to sue me over not buyer their house.  I never signed the counter offer, so to me there isn’t an executable contract.  This doesn’t stop sue- happy people.  This seller refuses to sign the mutual release and the real estate company is holding $1000.00 bucks of my cold cash.  Needless to say I am pissed.

I could use that money right now to fix my car problem. ( most likely an alternator $450 -$500)

But hey, things could be worse, and most likely they will get worse.

As long as I am held in limbo, I  can not buy a house. House number #3 or #4 is back on the market, we lost it before in multiples.  This is a second chance for us to buy it.  However I can’t, without being released from the non-contract contract, all because of her threat promise to sue me.  <heavy sigh>

One day: We are going to have our own place and I am going to tell all the fuckers in the world to back the fuck off.  People who are mean, nasty and lie.  They put all their twisted efforts towards getting something for nothing. They and the people that serve them, the pond scum lawyers, are repulsive human beings.

And that is how I really feel right now.

Cheers!

Tip: Don’t believe anyone.  Especially anyone who is in a position to make money off of you.

Tip2: Don’t believe elderly people when they say they don’t remember or when they say they can’t hear you- they are lying.

Inspiration: “Lying is done with words and also with silence.”- Adrienne Rich

One-day one-thing: Get rid of people you can not trust, no ifs, ands, or buts.  Just do it.

Mean people

Posted on Updated on

For life of me I do not understand mean people.  I know what bitchy is, and I know what angry is and I am fine with both those in limited quantities.  I mean that’s just part of human nature.  Who among us hasn’t had a bad day? But mean is something I will never comprehend.

I am getting a first hand lesson in the power of mean.  But I have also realized that I can take away that power of mean simply by stepping outside my feelings and observing as if I were a third party. Let me tell you what I have seen as that third party.

I have seen the depth of despair and confusion in the eyes of the mean person.  I have witness someone out of control, unable to stop themselves long enough to find the right words.  I have seen the face of hate.  In their state of meanness, which to me is void of all love, they scan their brains quickly taunting me to engage.  But I don’t.  I have learned to step outside of myself, and observe.  It’s a weird position, and quite new to me.  In the past I would definitely shoot back and lose no matter what.  No one ever wins in “mean.”

It’s shocking to me, because now I see it so clearly.  Before now I would engage and not be able to think straight.

I don’t want someone in my life that treats me poorly.  I don’t want someone in my life that holds anger and hostilities towards me.  For whatever reasons, unknown to me, I am the one that receives what ever sh*t they want to throw.   I have even received the silent treatment, which is hysterical to watch from afar, as if I care to talk to someone so mean.

Mean people don’t seem to know about love.  They just don’t.  They don’t know how to show it, give it, receive it or feel it.  They may have read about it but it’s just not in their nature.  Unless they chose to learn about it and change their core beliefs, they will continue to live on with the weight of bitterness, hate and anger baring down on their souls. I don’t even think they know they are missing out on anything.

You see it’s not about making points, or winning an argument, it’s all about what you want in your life.  A cold loveless existence just isn’t for me.  As I declutter I am purging my thoughts that someone else will ever change.

Instead I have changed.  I have changed by not taking in the hostility anymore. I find this approach both powerful and liberating.  Any sadness I held for what could have been is gone.   I have throw away all my “could-have-been(s).”

Cheers!

Here is a more in depth look at “How to Combat Emotional Warfare and Root Out the Manipulative, Abusive People in Your Life” (this article showed up in my email just now-weird)

Tip: Learn to protect yourself;  just walk away if someone is treating you unkindly.

Inspiration: “Anger and intolerance are the enemies of correct understanding.”- Mohandas K. Gandhi

One-day one -thing: Stop thinking about what could-have-been.

Nature and My Nature

Posted on Updated on

The only thing I can count on is nature. I can count on it to do whatever the h%ll it wants when it wants, except for the bazillion things it does everyday that is expected and necessary for the world to continue.

I mean the sun rising is a good thing. Even if it is behind the clouds, it’s there. In the the spring, seedlings spout. In the winter, snow falls….I am sure you get my point.

I also would like to run the idea past you that weather is the expression of nature’s feelings and they are all required to make everything work. Just like we need to express our feelings. We can’t fake it. Even when we try many people can see right through a disingenuous nature.

Here’s my issue, maybe you can relate.

I expect too much out of everybody and everything. So a few years ago I decided I would drop all that. I would stop expecting anything. When I first started this it was great, nothing bothered me. Nothing. I expected nothing, which in turn created a shield. This shield was nothing more than me caring less, an “I could care less” attitude.

The truth is that I do care. And by transferring my expectations to a place that would protect me, (into the “I don’t care” category) I gave away pieces of myself. Face it, if you get disappointed or hurt because your “too high” expectations aren’t met, then get rid of those feelings (expectations) and lose the pain. This is a failed policy – do not attempt.

When you lower your expectations, you then are surrounded with less of the standards that got you through your entire life. If I expect nothing, I will get nothing, and that will be okay. Only it’s not okay. It’s just lowering yourself to where nothing matters, because if it mattered then you would have expectations.

birds of a feather.......

I say raise your expectations. Raise them first for yourself, then for those around you. Raise them as high as you want. The higher the better. The sky is the limit!

Those people and issues that disappoint you are going to disappoint you whether or not you care. By actually caring, you’ll be able to identify more clearly that which you want to keep in your life and that which you want to dis-card.

And since this blog is about de-cluttering this sounds like a perfect opportunity to recognize for once and for all – some people and some situations will never be a good fit for your life. Forget about them. Donate them to people who are similar birds. Move on and find a flock that is a better fit.

Phew- I feel better getting this out of my system. Cheers!!!!

Post script: This post stems from being told my entire life that I expect too much out of people. But that is only according to the low standards of the person who drilled that message into my head.

Tip: Try to learn something new everyday.

Inspiration: ” Set your expectations high; find men and women whose integrity and values you respect; get their agreement on a course of action; and give them your ultimate trust.” ~ John Akers

One-day one-thing: Write a letter to yourself.

Exactly what are you going to do?

Posted on Updated on

So another year’s over, and what have you done?

I’ve made excuses as to why I can’t get past my personal road blocks. That stops today. I know it’s cold as heck out there, and personally I am not a snow bird, but I have let the weather squelch my forward momentum, and for no good reason.

If I told you that everything inside this house was sorted and reduced to a minimum I would be only playing make believe. That would be easy to do, but it wouldn’t help me in any way. Oh I know I said I can’t sell anything in a garage sale in the snow, but what about all those pesky little things…like my belts.

Because little things don’t take up a lot of space they seem to be allowed to stick around. This is not good. They have to go.

No matter how large or how small your crap is, you have to get rid of it. Space displacement is not the determining factor when eliminating clutter and crap in your life. Think about it like a junk drawer. Who wants it? Who likes it? Every little space, drawer and/or container filled–I can’t even breathe when I think about it this way.

I read something recently, that said storage isn’t good. It only serves as vehicle to neatly hide your junk. It doesn’t solve any deeper issues, and it does not advance you to a goal of living better with less.

Advisory: Don’t go to Target, January is “store your stuff” month, containers galore on sale! All so you can make more room to buy more useless stuff, from guess who? -Target.

So for this week, and for the rest of these gloomy winter months, I will work on the little things in the little drawers and in the little containers. I actually wonder what I might find.

Cheers.

Tip: If there is something that needs to be fixed that you have been putting off – bite the bullet and fix it.

Inspiration: ” Now that it’s all over, what did you really do yesterday that’s worth mentioning?” ~Coleman Cox

One-day one-day: Old stationary-clear it out, when is the last time you actually wrote a letter?

The 1,2,3 of Words

Posted on

I had already set my New’s Resolution to stop swearing, then I realize it was more than that.

It is not only the about words but also about what is behind the words.  An anger or a rage lives there.  Who needs that?  We have all witness someone who gets angry.  It can make us uncomfortable,  it can frighten us and change the mood of an entire experience.

We can easily see what we don’t like about it in others, but many times when we do it, we feel perfectly justified.  We become entitled and self-righteous, “I’m just telling it like it is.”   (again, I am speaking for myself) 

What we are really doing is hurting those around us and ourselves, even if that is not our intention.

All words carry energy.   The old saying “stick and stones” isn’t true. In fact, it is plain false. Even when you are not swearing, but just talking negatively without fore thought or speaking with an “attitude.”- those words cause damage.  Each word is what you are as you speak.  That is what you are contributing to the world, to the greater good.

Is what you say good?

Words to Promote Positive Changes in the World by Jill Lawson- addresses the importance of words in her short and to the point article.  She breaks it down to three items.

1) Avoid idle chat, gossip and words that intend to hurt.

2) Speak your truth.

3) Be a good listener.

Also in The Four Agreements, one of the four agreements is:

Be Impeccable with your Word:  Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.

So I shall do my best, starting today, even though I said it was a New Year’s resolution.  This will take practice.  I know change is hard and change takes time, but I want to change.  So I have half the battle won already.  Cheers!

Inspiration:  “Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care for people will hear them and be influenced by them for good or ill. ” ~ Buddha

Schizophrenic Friday, Schizophrenic Saturday

Posted on Updated on

Days aren’t just days any longer. We have evolved to a point where certain days are used to market goods, or support movements, or promote whatever even pickles.

Today is Black Friday and  Support Small Business day is Saturday and  Buy Nothing day is both Friday and Saturday, depending on where you live.

For me all this doesn’t matter.  I think everyday should be support small business day, and every other day should be buy nothing day.  Black Friday is nothing more than a flashing red alert signalling to me to stay out of any shopping area.

We consume too much and produce too little. I am as guilty as the next person.  My first instinct is to buy.  I have to fight it.  Even though I know I want to save money right now, when I see something I find appealing I think:  Oh, I should get that, before it’s gone.

That’s one of many thoughts of a recovering shopaholic.   I also caught myself saying, “We should get that because the one you have will wear out eventually.”  I actually heard myself, took a step back and left without buying anything. I can’t believe that after all this time those thoughts still are at the forefront of my mind.

Maybe it is really some sort of addictive condition?  I never believed that I was certifiably a “shopaholic.”  Mind you you, I didn’t buy the things I saw the other day but, WOW, I wanted to.  And sitting here right now, I realized I didn’t even snap a photo of the thing I wanted to buy.

I will go back today and take a photo.  It was a mirrored covered box, which I certainly without a doubt do not need.   But I am drawn to mirrored items.  My favorite color is clear.  Water in all its forms fascinates me, and mirrors reflect like water.

Normally, I take pictures of things I like but either can’t buy,  or can’t keep, or look interesting but I don’t want.   Taking photos is  one of my many coping mechanisms and it’s very effective.

I need to remember to stay the course of de-cluttering and saving money and not buying “stuff.”  With the cold weather creepy in it’s so easy to forget about the garage and the storage unit.  Out of sight out of mind.

I don’t want more stuff.  I have too much stuff.  Less is more.

Cheers!

Tip: Put a rubber band on your wrist, snap it before you make a buying decisions. (ouch)

Inspiration:“Obstacles are those things you see when you take your eyes off the goal.”- Hannah More

One-day one thing: Sort make-up again.

Put Your Mind to Work.

Posted on

Less is more. More what? Mo’ better?

Seriously though; Less is easier, more peaceful,  more relaxing,  more real and it provides more freedom,  more or less.

When I look at our storage unit or the garage I can hardly breathe.  Instantaneously stress builds inside my body, this also happens when I only just think about it.  Imagine having all that stress and stuff in your home.  God, it’s no wonder I couldn’t think straight.  Always thinking about the mess, the stuff I needed to sort, or the stuff I would store safely to sort later.

Always later, but always in my mind somewhere.  “I’ll do a box a day.” or maybe this weekend “I’ll work on the basement.” Blah, blah, blah.  It never got done, and obviously I am still working on it.  I imagine there are deep seeded reasons for accumulating.  I can tell you I have a million reasons I could rattle off, but those aren’t true reasons, those are my “rationalizations.”

The bright side;  just realizing that you are rationalizing your situation is huge.  No matter what the problem, we are experts at convincing ourselves why it is, and why it can’t be changed.  Certified experts.

Where we fall down is when it comes to telling that expert ,”Hey expert, you don’t know sh*t.”  Take any issue right now, and ask yourself, am I clinging to this because it makes me feel better, or and I clinging to this because it’s easier than letting it go?

We all know there are things we can’t change, and things we can change.  That’s just life.  What you ALWAYS can change is the way you choose to think, or how you choose to react to  your individual predicament.  In other words, make your mind work for you instead of against you.

I will be testing my theory this Thanksgiving.  I know I am not alone.  Many people have family issues that tend to erupt during holidays.   It’s going to be a challenge.  But this time around I feel like I can handle it.   I almost feel invincible.  Like the old saying:” I’m rubber, you’re glue.  Everything you say bounces off me and sticks on you.” ( such a mature saying, but I love it )

It will only be a few awkward hours of my life. Bring it on. Cheers.

Tip: You don’t have to own other people words.

Inspiration: ” People may doubt what you say, but they will believe what you do. ” ~Lewis Cass

One-day one-thing: Take winter clothes box to donation center.