For the most part I am really happy. However, once in a while, I want to scream. When this happens I have learned to stop. To stop whatever I am thinking. I then remind myself to be grateful for the thousands of wonderful moments I get every day. That is the key; gratitude.
Trouble happens when I allow myself to considered, to ponder or mull over someone’s negativity as something that could be true, may be true, or holds some truth. But I know deep in my heart that every time I welcome one teeny tiny inch of this negativity into my thoughts, it eats me up alive. It brings me down, way down, really quickly.
I can physically feel it happening, every time. Which is enormously better than how I use to be. Before I didn’t recognize the darkness of bullshit negativity for what it was. I took things to heart, took things personally and believed that I could change how these people felt or what they thought about situations. I can’t. (No one can.) I no longer try.
What I need to do is care about myself. Sounds selfish but it’s not. Because if I am down, and swimming in a pool of crap, I am no good for anyone. When I’m blue my judgement blurs and I can’t be there for the people who need me. I become the negativity. That’s not what I want for my life.
I am improving my awareness. But I still need to identify negativity more quickly and remember to move to gratitude immediately. I’m learning this takes practice. In time it will be second nature for me.
For now, I’m going to create a super power shield and protect myself from negativity and hatred. An invisible force field that disintegrates the atoms of filthy negative hatred.
The more consistent I become in quickly moving to gratitude the less I’ll need my shield. But until then I’ll be my own super hero and I will continue to be eternamente grato.
Tip: Do not engage in conversations that feel wrong to you. Change the topic or walk away.
Inspiration: “From the backstabbing co-worker to the meddling sister-in-law, you are in charge of how you react to the people and events in your life. You can either give negativity power over your life or you can choose happiness instead. Take control and choose to focus on what is important in your life. Those who cannot live fully often become destroyers of life.” ~Anais Nin
One-day one -thing: Create a gratitude notebook, make it part of your day to record your gratefulness.
I have sign up for Nanowrimo. National Novel Writing Month.
Why did I do this? Well, I thought, why not? I mean in all reality, TV is really crappy and it’s a waste of my time. And what else do I have to do, besides get rid of all my stuff, work, and take care of our family and our dogs and cats, paint and exercise?
Why not write a novel? I have never really ever even considered writing a book. Why not try? What else is there to do in November other than write about 1667 words per day? In the end, I will have something I didn’t have before. I’ll meet some “writer” people and learn something along the way. Plus it doesn’t cost a penny. Sounds like a good thing to me.
I’m kind of excited. I bought a WordPress theme called “Chapters” and I am almost ready to go. Oh wait, I need a plot and a story to tell. Hopefully within the next 22 days I can think of something.
It’s Sunday, I shouldn’t even be writing this.
Tip: Write even if you only have 15 minutes.
Inspiration: “And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.” ~Sylvia Plath
One-thing one-thing: Un-clutter your day: Make a schedule for tomorrow and see if you can stick to it.
When you looked at your first bicycle, did you think; oh I can’t do that, I’ll never be able to ride that, everyone will laugh at me when I try? Did you tell yourself , “If I can’t ride this bike the very first time I try, then I’ll never try again?” Were there small voices in your head saying you’re not talented enough, not tall enough, not strong enough to ride a bike like this.
I doubt it.
I want to go back. I want to feel the freedom that comes with being four years old. At four we made our lives fair, we didn’t play with kids we didn’t like or who weren’t nice. There was no drama. “She’s mean. I don’t want to play with her.” And that was that. No big deal.
At four, if we were pretending to something different from ourselves, it was only because that was the game we agreed to play. Remember “make believe?” At four years old, if your pal was crying you wanted to know why and you tried your best to make it better. That’s was important. Being four could be little complicated since you couldn’t drive a car, but it was manageable because we knew all we needed to know to get by.
Some time has past since I was four and the world I am living in seems somewhat off kilter. There’s too much negativity and troubles. Grown ups are old and crabby. They don’t appear to know how to play. Too much stress and worry is occupying the space their heads and hearts. I see them all the time in shiny cars wearing bitter frowns as they scurry about the city.
But I know, in that very same city, there’s a bunch of four year olds living the good life, living large with eyes wide open and playing by their own simple rules.
So that’s what I am going to do. I am going to be four again.
I am going to follow my own rules and have fun.
Tip: Think like a child when you meet a new challenges; worry less and do your best.
Inspiration: “Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.” ~T.S. Eliot
One-day one-thing: It’s Sunday do whatever you want.
Baggage is a drag. It is clutter of the soul. One of the most difficult challenges I face is clearing the clutter out of my head and heart. It’s hard work, and I don’t always do a very good job of it.
I keep a running mental list of the way I would like my world to be; my “when” list, my “if” list, and my “dream” list. I could spit it out rapid fire without even taking a breath. I bet you have a list you could rattle off in a minute as well.
But those lists rarely resembles reality. And worse than that, it marginalizes what you have in your life right now. By always thinking the grass is greener, the future is better, we fail to see the greatness of right here and now. I know it all makes sense in words. It’s easy to say and words are cheap. The true challenge, and the most important challenge, is applying what we learn to how we live.
For me it all comes down to clutter, at least that’s my analogy. My initial intention of this “journey to living better with less” was to tackle stuff, less stuff. But now
I believe I’ve learned clutter is systemic. It goes hand in hand with the rest of my life. I can close the closet door and I can’t see the clutter, but all the clutter stuffed inside is still there.
Just like our cluttered emotions, beliefs and overall well being. It’s always there, right inside you, where ever you are. Clutter goes deep into your psyche, at least for me it does. This realization is making my simple journey to minimalism a totally different trip. Who knew?
( someone knew, but not me )
I boiled it down, into four segments. This is where I have to
really seriously declutter and maintain clarity.
Physical stuff: Garage, storage unit, office, boxes, etcetera. This is the easiest one to identify and I believe it leads to clearing out the more difficult areas of your life.
Emotional stuff: Stress, relationships, sorrow, guilt, regrets, fear – we all have some degree of this in our lives – find a method to manage this emotional clutter so that it doesn’t ruin your time here on earth. Very difficult.
Spiritual stuff: Belief system – define your personal beliefs and match your daily actions to that belief – create harmony for yourself.
Mental stuff: Identify what is holding you back from your own life- what do you hear in your head that tells you -” I can’t.” Identify that voice and delete it. This takes constant effort for me.
This is tough and I don’t pretend to know anything about how to accomplish this. What I do know is, I have been to hell and back a few times, and I am not interested in any revisits. No matter what, I have made my choice. I don’t want any clutter of any sort. So I am willing do the work. I am willing to let go and move on.
Tip: Try saying an affirmation: I let go of my past hurt feelings. Life is good and so am I. ( I picked something simple, so I could remember it. )
Inspiration: ” It is not fair to ask of others what you are unwilling to do yourself. ” ~Eleanor Roosevelt
One-day one-thing: Let go of one or more expectations….forever.
I know when we start our days we have high hopes for a “good” day. Sometimes we make mistakes, even though we know better. Those mistakes can end up ruining some amount of time in our day. Maybe it’s because we are tired, or we forget, or we aren’t prepared. This brings me to the question for today: why interact with crappy people? Hint: No good can come from it. None.
As part of our life-style change, a move to minimalism, we have made the conscientious choice to eliminate the crappy, negative, mean and rude people who are (and were) in our lives. They are like clutter but far more dangerous because they sap your positive energy, and send you down a negative and unproductive path that can only lead you to more stress and unhappiness. Not good and no longer permitted.
We’ve done a really good job at this thus far, but every once in a while an identified crappy person tries to suck you in -or- a random crappy stranger decides to blindside you. It happens to the best of us.
Here’s the answer the only answer, it come from a friend’s blog post.
James Altucher : How to Deal with Crappy People. Read his post (I promise it is worth the read) and re-read this when ever you need a refresher course.
Tips: If someone is nasty to you, remember it’s about them and their anger inside. It’s not about you.
Inspiration: ” No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
- “You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.” – Mahatma Gandhi
One-day one thing: Buying poster board, pricing and making signs for a yard sale.
Now take in a deep breath and slowly exhale.
This is all you have to do today. It’s Sunday. I stole this idea from another site, I may have tweaked it a bit.
No one has to do anything they don’t choose to do today, it’s simply Sunday. Today is everyone’s very own day.
My DH and I planned on doing this on Friday. We decided that everything that had to be done this weekend would be accomplished on Saturday so we could have “simply Sunday.”
I was inspired by this article on rest and this blog, Simplify Your Life, that covers Sunday in one of it’s many awesome posts. I liked the idea immediately and could not believe I never considered such a concept on my own. (a huge “doh!” moment )
A light bulb went off. I realized that I wasn’t doing the any of things I wanted to do because I ALWAYS have a list. A to-do list. Go, go, go – work work work, get it done, cross it off…make the new list, get it done, cross it off.
What is ALWAYS missing from my list was fun, rest, reading, painting, looking at paintings, a bubble bath, or anything else that I personally like to do.
Everyone needs “me” time or they get burned out, tired, cranky and often this can lead to exhaustion and/or a bout with depression. We can’t have that. We need to live life now, not when the list is finished.
Newsflash: the list will NEVER be finished.
The only simply Sunday rule is: no one has to do anything they don’t want to do. It is that simple.
Tip: Be kind to yourself.
Inspiration:“The mark of a successful man is one that has spent an entire day on the bank of a river without feeling guilty about it.” ~Author Unknown
One-day one-thing: Do what ever you want. It’s simply Sunday.
During my years of irrational consumerism, I could see the future. It’s true. I knew exactly what everyone needed before they even thought about what they needed.
Once, I bought an alarm clock guaranteed never to turn off, until a person caught it and turned it off. It was self propelling, and if it wasn’t turned off by the sleeping human quickly, it would jump to the floor and run away by rolling under the bed, or any other out of reach place while still sounding the alarm.
I bought this two years before my son went away to university. Every single day of his high school years, I had to wake him up over, and over, and over again. In the future, I wouldn’t be there to wake him up. I could see this clearly. The clock still sold by MOMA today runs 48.00, I think I paid more. That never opened brand new clock, sits inside a blue plastic container that contains an assortment of new things, on the second shelf inside U-Store-It unit #227.
I know of another new thing that’s in there. I bought it for myself. It’s a bank that is a replication of a wooden water tank like the ones on top of buildings in Manhattan . I was “saving” this for when I had a “cool” office not a cluttered mess of an office. I have an awesome office. It’s not yet “good enough” so I am using old tea bottle for loose change. As I am write those very words I see how pathetic this is. ( I’ll fix the coin bank issue Monday)
Other purchases are back-ups, duplicates. I bought these because I already owned the item and I liked it. Like a certain Ikea scrubber, I could see in the future this scrubber would no longer be available. I even taught my daughter if you like something – buy two of them….ugh! Some of those thing I don’t even like anymore. Other “new” items I bought for future gifts. I could see who needed the gift and what it was before I even met the person. I was good. Unfortunately when it came time to give these gifts away, either I couldn’t part with them, or they weren’t the right gift for the occasions.
When I shopped I shopped with conviction, no second guessing, everything had a purpose. A purpose in the future that I could clearly see. I was clairvoyant. I could see the future as far out as I needed, to infinity. That is, until I could not.
What I could not see in the future was not being able to sell our house that was on the market for 14 months. What I couldn’t see was all our equity was going to disappear. What I couldn’t see in the future was losing our home of twelve years and having no place to live. Once I lost my ability to see the future, I was sad for a long time. I could not see anything and I certainly could not see joy or any shred of happiness in my crystal ball.
But that was then, this is now. Nothing much has changed except me. And to tell you the truth, I’m not sure if I have ever had a more defined idea of what’s important in life. I have learn so much about how we spend our time, how we spend our money and how we interact with people. My life has completely changed it’s trajectory and I like it.
The more stuff I shed the better I feel. Simplifying is intoxicating and addictive. Simplifying has helped me to focus and grow. I like it. I have a long long way to go, but so far it’s good. I am examining my life on a different level, from a different place. I am learning about myself and my family and what I am learning brings me great comfort. We are all in agreement that we are on the right track to “living better with less.”
UnPacktheRat is more then a blog to me, it’s my teacher, and for that I am grateful.
One Day -One Thing: List at least one new (or not) item on eBay
I have been telling anyone, and everyone who will listen, about my plan to get rid of everything. I tell them that I am actually already “in process” of getting rid of everything I own. You should see the look of disbelief on their faces. They are entirely shocked at this idea, and at first they don’t believe me. They tilt their heads….like “really ?” When they eventually realize I am dead serious, (I swear I can see something click in their brains) right there and then, they think I am crazy.
I didn’t expect this.
I think of myself as a fairly “normal” person, not any crazier than the next. I can’t say that I had any preset expectations at all, but this reaction has been surprising. It’s so surprising to me, mostly because it is recurring. It’s not just a few people who react this way, it’s a solid 97%.
I suppose it is going outright against the grain of the “got to have” based mentality of the American consumer. Three-fourths of our economy, ( 75% percent <-that’s crazy), is based on consumerism. Businesses want you to want. Want more, bigger, faster, better, lighter, smaller, they even want you to want more that uses less. The somewhat green marketers say “buy this aluminum bottle” to use less plastic bottles. That’s a good effort because plastic is evil, but everyone knows glass bottles are by far the best.
For whatever unknown reasons most people can not believe that I don’t want “things.” I like things, I just don’t want to own things. I have way too many things! Besides owning is work, and it’s expensive. Maybe I am just cheap and lazy. (?) I don’t know. What I do know, is my things stress me out. They are weighing me down, taking up my time and I don’t want them anymore.
I can’t wait to tell the next person. Cheers.
Tips from: Joshua Becker – via Organizing Your Way
Today’s “one day- one thing”: Listing chairs on Craig’s list.