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You know what is really really frightening?

It really is scary to “not care.”  Like to just not give a rats ass about stuff.  All kinds of stuff -anything you can think of -stuff.

It’s not the same as surrendering, is it?  I don’t think so.  I don’t know.

All I know is I can not control anything, and it doesn’t matter what happens because there is nothing I can do about it.

I remember being preoccupied about so many things and trying to make everything just right.  I would stress, worry, panic, and in turn guess what happened in the end?  Nothing ever turned out “just right.”  Absolutely nothing.   

Worst nightmares became reality.   

It’s not like you or I can change the past no matter how hard we try.   And forget the future, that is way out of the human being’s capability.

There is only one thing we actually control; our minds.

We do choose our thoughts.  We can control whether we care about this, or that, or the other thing.  That is it.  Pretty simple.

I still don’t care much, but I know it’ is by my own choice.

I am ready, so ready,  to think nothing.  No thoughts.  This mind of mine needs a serious rest.



3 thoughts on “Frightening

    SassySass said:
    January 26, 2013 at 4:11 pm

    it sounds like you’re very close to a burn out. I know with me whenever i get to the point where I just couldn’t give an ish any more, its time to step back and give myself a sanity break. Bad things happen when I don’t care anymore. I hope you get the relaxation you need.

      unpacktherat responded:
      January 26, 2013 at 4:31 pm

      I may be past burn out and into the ashes state. Thank you for your comment….Relaxation has to be a priority for me now….you are so right.

        SassySass said:
        January 26, 2013 at 4:41 pm

        Yikes!!! @ ashes. You are no good to yourself or anyone else in that state. I really hope things get better for you asap. Just remember, “it can’t rain all the time.”

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