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Are there reasons for everything?

I think there must be, because that is the only thing that makes sense out of a senseless situation. I am not going to whine about what happened today, but I will quote words that were spoken to me in the most hateful tone.

“I don’t need you.”

What do I learn from this, well the first thing I learned is that I better ask if that is really what she said to make sure I didn’t misinterpret anything. “Did you just say ‘you don’t need me’ ?” Well that is what she said. She hasn’t said a word to me since, and I have no plans in speaking to anyone who said such a hateful thing to their own child.

What I have learned from this is the following:

1. Not everyone has the same understanding of love and family.

2. Not everyone is cut out to be a mother.

3. Some people are actually sociopaths, they really do exist, and it’s possible to be related to one.

The mere thought of telling any of my children that, “I don’t need them” would never ever even enter my mind. It is a completely foreign thought to me.

I would literally stand in front of a bullet for my children. I would, and have, done everything in my limited power to protect them, support them, and to help them and love them. I would die for them. I would die without them. I need them like I need oxygen. They are most amazing blessings and loves in my life.

Needless to say I am blown away- blown away.

I realize now how uniquely special true love is. I am fortunate to have a loving husband and three wonderful children. I recognize just how solid, even with our many faults, my family is. Even through rough, super rough times, we are still a “loving” family and I believe we will be for many years to come.

It makes me sad to think that some people live in such a loveless manner. But it’s no longer something I will seek to change or even try to understand. I don’t have the time for such nonsense.

I have a life to live.


Tip: If you give up on yourself once in awhile, that’s okay, it’s only temporary. You decide when to stop giving up on yourself. Work through your issues and you’ll find out everything is going to be okay.

Inspiration: ” Truth resides in every human heart, and one has to search for it there, and to be guided by truth as one sees it. But no one has a right to coerce others to act according to his own view of truth.” – Mohandas K. Gandhi

One-day one-thing: Let it go – for real this time -breathe in freedom.

6 thoughts on “Reasons

    abichica said:
    January 30, 2012 at 6:10 pm

    wooww!! That really sucks, and it is unbelievable, i used to think everything happens for a reason as well, but at this very moment i do not believe that anymore.. I am currently going through something which has made me lose hope completely on that.. great post, i say if some one( especially some who gave birth to you and is supposed to do everything for you and love you endlessly) says that they dont need you, then you should not need them also.. :-)

      MsRat responded:
      January 30, 2012 at 11:24 pm

      Sorry to hear about your tough time. I think the problem when times are tough is, there is no obvious possible reason……but then maybe at another time, you might be able to look-back or look through and see something of value. I hope this happens for you because sometimes life just sucks!

      Better times in the future for you, I believe you will be okay, even though I know how bad it feels when you think or believe nothing will improve.

      Thank you for reading and thank you for your comment. You are so right, and that’s what gives me a whole new freedom.


    Shayne said:
    February 8, 2012 at 4:02 pm

    Perhaps her ‘not needing’ you can free you from obligation to provide and leave you at liberty to take what lies outside of a supply/demand relationship. Instead of being required to fulfill obligations it leaves you free to view her in new, less proscribed ways; for instance, although she is perhaps not going to be an emotional support to you, it may be that you can view her as ‘the only person who remembers my early life’, or ‘a link to my childhood’ or whatever functions may be important to you that lie outside of and separate to a symbiotic emotional relationship. It leaves you free to decide what she represents to you and it may be that you can salvage something that is of value to you.

      MsRat responded:
      February 8, 2012 at 4:30 pm

      Nice attempt….but she has since kicked it up a notch and isn’t speaking to me or acknowledging my existence.

      On the bright side, her sons are finally helping. She never would ask them in the past but now she has to call them because she declared she didn’t “need me.”

      She has never ever been emotional support. I just want decency, but that’s asking too much. Nothing can be salvaged at this point, however, I appreciate you thoughtful words.

      Since my Dad died, I have been the odd-one out…..come to think about it, I remember her yelling at me when I was young,” you’re just like your father!”

      Weird….I take that as a compliment, and she thought she was throwing an insult… :)

        Shayne said:
        February 9, 2012 at 2:51 am

        Ah, tricky. In the end perhaps all you can do is ensure that you act with personal integrity so that (although this sounds harsh) after she has passed away, your conscience will be clear. i.e. be civil to her for your own sake, not hers. I hope you find a path through the problem anyway.

          February 9, 2012 at 5:09 am

          Yes, I think you are correct. I plan to continue with civility. I won’t argue or make a stir, I’ll just get by. She wont notice anything because she truly is to busy being a miserable person. I have learned a lot about my own faults, so in that regard this has been a blessing.

          Thanks again for your thoughts. I appreciate your kindness.

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