Well, a few weeks ago, we placed a bid on a house. And that stopped me dead in my tracks on my journey to living better with less. I thought I better not get rid of anything until we find out if we got the house. Well we didn’t get the house. I wont go into how perfect is was for us, because then I start to cry. I am not depressed, I swear. But I get really sad when I think about that house, because I knew we should have offered more. I didn’t follow my instinct.
Trust your gut feelings always; no exceptions
So like a wounded wild animal I am ready to lash out at all this crap in my life. Look at the mess inside this garage. It’s embarrassing. I didn’t even take photo of all my lawn furniture that’s in the driveway and patio. Winter’s coming. Snow flakes fell today. I am going to be ruthless. I swear. Watch out sh*t, you are going to hit the fan.
Bird feed, I am giving you all to the birds on the same day, today. Eat like kings little birdies. A bunch of old liquor, I think I will dump it down the drain. Garden hand tools: keep the best sell the rest. I have to sort my framed photos one more time and move the “keepers” inside, because they will just get ruined in this damp garage.
I am never going to get over losing the house.
It’s funny what a “house” does to you. It changes everything. I am not sure that is a good thing. Because I stopped. I stopped doing what I really wanted to do. I stop dreaming of new places. I put my goals on hold. I think I even stopped breathing. I was holding my breath waiting to hear. I fell back into old habits of placing importance on “things.”
I am so torn between what I know, what I’ve learned and an unknown future. I really thought we were close to a solution which in turn would become our decision. Now we’ve returned to the unknown.
To top off my disaster-week, I had to tell my husband I agreed to go out to Thanksgiving dinner with my mother and my three brothers who don’t even acknowledge our family exists. Why would I would I agree to such a dumb-ass thing? Well because until we find/buy a house, we are living in my 84 year old mother’s house. (I like to think of it as my Dad’s house, but he’s no longer living. ) She asked and she let me know that the “boys” were coming over here for cocktails before dinner regardless of whether we joined them or not. How lovely. So I said yes.
Post Script: I will make sure Thanksgiving a nice day for my husband and my children and our dogs. That will be easy. I like the idea of no dishes, and no cooking, so this will be okay. And two or three hours of dysfunctional-family-torture won’t kill us. We will be counting our blessings, that’s for sure! Because no matter what,through thick and thin, I have my Husband, my children and our animals. That’s all I need.
Tip: Never search for “tummy” or “gut” on Google.
Inspiration: “What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise.” ~ Oscar Wilde
One-day one-thing: Make plans for Thanksgiving weekend, it’s a fun weekend don’t let it slip away.