Garage Abyss and other Lovely Thoughts

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Well, a few weeks ago, we placed a bid on a house.  And that stopped me dead in my tracks on my journey to living better with less.  I thought I better not get rid of anything until we find out if we got the house.   Well we didn’t get the house.  I wont go into how perfect is was for us, because then I start to cry.   I am not depressed, I swear.  But I get really sad when I think about that house, because I knew we should have offered more.  I didn’t follow my instinct.

Trust your gut feelings always; no exceptions

So like a wounded wild animal I am ready to lash out at all this crap in my life.  Look at the mess inside this garage.  It’s embarrassing.  I didn’t even take photo of all my lawn furniture that’s in the driveway and patio.  Winter’s coming.  Snow flakes fell today.  I am going to be ruthless.  I swear. Watch out sh*t, you are going to hit the fan.

nightmare

Bird feed, I am giving you all to the birds on the same day, today.  Eat like kings little birdies.  A bunch of old liquor, I think I will dump it down the drain.  Garden hand tools: keep the best sell the rest.  I have to sort my framed photos one more time and move the “keepers” inside, because they will just get ruined in this damp garage.

I am never going to get over losing the house.

It’s funny what a “house” does to you.  It changes everything.  I am not sure that is a good thing.  Because I stopped.  I stopped doing what I really wanted to do.  I stop dreaming of new places.   I put my goals on hold.   I think I even stopped breathing.  I was holding my breath waiting to hear.  I fell back into old habits of  placing importance on “things.”

I need something peaceful to look at.

I am so torn between what I know, what I’ve learned and an unknown future.  I really thought we were close to a solution which in turn would become our decision.  Now we’ve returned to the unknown.

To top off my disaster-week, I had to tell my husband I agreed to go out to Thanksgiving dinner with my mother and my three brothers who don’t even acknowledge our family exists.   Why would I would I agree to  such a dumb-ass thing?  Well because until we find/buy a house, we are living in my 84 year old mother’s house. (I like to think of it as my Dad’s house, but he’s no longer living. )  She asked and she let me know that the “boys” were coming over here for cocktails before dinner regardless of whether we joined them or not.   How lovely.  So I said yes.

Post Script: I will make sure Thanksgiving a nice day for my husband and my children and our dogs.  That will be easy.  I like the idea of no dishes, and no cooking, so this will be okay.  And two or three hours of dysfunctional-family-torture won’t kill us.  We will be counting our blessings, that’s  for sure!  Because no matter what,through thick and thin, I have my Husband, my children and our animals.  That’s all I need.

Cheers.

Tip: Never search for “tummy” or “gut” on Google.

Inspiration: “What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise.” ~ Oscar Wilde

One-day one-thing: Make plans for Thanksgiving weekend, it’s a fun weekend don’t let it slip away.


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