Month: March 2012
I am convinced that dogs have the world figure out. I know am not the first to say this, but I don’t care. When a dog barks he is not saying anything new.
Dogs can read another dog as easily as we can read directions on a cake box. Those direction are very clear and concise leaving no room for errors.
When dogs meets other dogs and there’s an instant positive vibe, then they are perfectly okay with that new friend(s). It’s simple. Dogs just trust their own instincts. If they don’t like what the meet , they bristle and let that dog know to stay the $%^# away.
Think of how many times you’ve gone against your own best judgement or a feeling you had but couldn’t exactly explained. We humans call that a “gut instinct” or ” intuition” but I really believe it lives as truth in the heart section of your brain. I don’t even know if there is a heart section of the brain, but I choose to believe there is.
I think we need to pay super close attention to whatever we tell ourselves inside our heads and hearts.
I have had some difficult times, we all have, and I have tried to fix problems I didn’t cause. ( May no good deed go unpunished)
I am here to say forget those problems. Whatever issue it is, if you in absolute truth can not control it, then it isn’t something to waste one once of energy trying to correct or fix. Don’t worry or fret, don’t ponder or gossip, don’t talk and re-talk, just choose live without it.
Shake it off. Wag your tail, take a walk and smell the air. Dig in the dirt. Be happy that you were fed today, smile and carry on.
Tip: Always put your keys in the same place.
Inspiration: ” We need to find the courage to say NO to the things and people that are not serving us if we want to rediscover ourselves and live our lives with authenticity.” -Barbara De Angelis
One-day one-thing: Plan a picnic for the next nice free day you have.
Okay so have you ever met with situation where someone screws you out of money and you think to yourself, “I’ll sue them.”
But after you settle down reality kicks in – you can’t possibly afford an attorney. Or you find an attorney who down-plays your case to cover his ass. The first thing out of every attorney’s mouth is: “If this goes to court I can’t guarantee you will win.” Believe me I have been there. So I want to offer advice.
First off: People who are going to make money off you lie. <;- Sear this into your brain.
Second: People who lie rarely put things in writing. Some will provide contracts but then they have you sign first, but they themselves never sign. (I’ve seen this trick in construction and employment)
So here is what you do, try to guard yourself against the two items listed above.
Say you have some work that needs to be done at your house. Take a notebook and date and time stamp everything that is said, no matter how trivial you think it may be. Little details will jogged your memory as time passes and it makes your record keeping more believable.
Set up your phone to record conversations. I have a cell only so I am currently looking for a way to do this. ( any apps out there? if not I will develop one)
I remember once I taped a lawyer from a huge firm, who said to me,” we really f*ck up your case.” It didn’t matter that this recording never saw the light of a court room, it was enter into a court doc and filed which made it public record. They dropped all fees right there and then, that is all we wanted.
Just recently a person on the phone asked if they were being taped before saying some very incriminating statements. (note: ANYONE who asks if they are being recorded is about to tell you the truth.) Of coarse I wasn’t taping him, I was ill prepared. If you are taping anyone do not admit it. It may not be admissible in a court of law, but the proof is there and that proof alone will spark a settlement without going to court. If nothing else remember you can always go viral with the tape.
Another tip is ALWAYS have someone with you for discussions if possible. Witnesses are very powerful. Plus they can help you recall details.
Okay, so if you just got screwed, whether you have a lot of proof or just a little proof, take your complaint to small claims court. The courthouse in my town makes this very easy. Your local municipal court should have similar forms and instructions available. If not , use these two docs: 1. instructions 2. claim form, as a reference and make your own. The worst that can happen is the court will correct you and provide guidance. The cost to file a small claim here is 65.00, .05 cents for copies and they will notarize on the spot.
I always remember those sh*tty landlords that wouldn’t refund my rent deposit. I never fought for return of my security deposit. I didn’t know how.
The limit for small claims is thee thousand dollars, that’s way better than nothing. And you will not rack up any lawyer fees. So if you win or lose at least you tried to get you money back.
If you are in a position where you need help regarding family law. Do it your self. Believe me divorce lawyers want to keep you in court and fighting as long as possible. The more you disagree, or the more a lawyer leads you to believe you can get XYZ, the more money that lawyer makes.
The moral of the story, you don’t need a lawyer and you don’t have to take getting screwed.
Fight for yourself, you are the only one who truly cares.
OOPS! ****Forgot this important tip. Make a paper trail that shows you attempted to resolve the matter before you go to court. It always looks good to the judge if you can prove you made an effort to avoid his/her courtroom.
Tip: Stick with facts and stay calm and always be polite in correspondence.
Inspiration: “A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns.” - Don Corleone, in The Godfather - Mario Puzo
One-day one-thing: Organize important documents. This may be a repeat, but with tax time, I have new docs to organize. It’s never stop
Geez. I don’t lie. I try not to lie. I can’t remember anything , so I am no good at lying and I don’t feel good if I lie. So I really don’t lie.
I can keep a secret. I am the best secret keeper I know. I never betray a trust. But I want you to know, I don’t hold on to secrets. Meaning, I hold them and throw them away, maybe file them away is a better term. Secrets belong to those who share their life with me. Those secrets belong to the person who told the secret. If someone trusts me, I feel it is my most important responsibility to protect that trust.
I have always believed this. It’s nothing that I can change or that I want to change. It part of me like my face. It is just there.
So when I get lied to or when someone betrays my trust, I am deeply offended. I lose total respect for the person that lied to me. That’s it. I cut them out, or at least I cut them off. I mentally attempt to erase them. Not so easy when the person is a relative.
The inspiration quote I posted yesterday is very interesting to me.
“Lying is done with words and also with silence.”- Adrienne Rich
Take some time to think about this. It may prove helpful. If you are having an important conversation, and someone isn’t actively participating, it may be a clue to their deceit. Keep alert, pay attention to body language and tone. Changing the subject is another red flag.
I have learned that if someone lies once they will lie again. I have learned that liars think it is okay to lie. They easily understand when someone lies, and they go about their day as if nothing happened. Liars hang with other liars. “Birds of a feather” still holds true.
Obviously, I have a low tolerance for liars but I know so many of them. This often puts me in a position of being the oddball. The one who “expects too much out of other people.” I get criticized for expecting people to not lie in general. Who knew standing up for the truth would be met with criticism.
I believe everyone has the right and the responsibility to protect themselves. So don’t put up with any liars they will only hurt you over and over again.
never rarely change. But the truth eventually comes to light. And for that we should be grateful.
Tip: If you call a liar out they will become angry, it’s better to recognize them for what they are and ignore them.
Inspiration: “No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.”- Abraham Lincoln
One-day one-thing: Acknowledge who has your back, nurture that relationship.
There’s something out there that wants to take me down. I swear, I am doing all I can and bad sh*t keeps happening.
This morning, I was on my way to the dog park. I started the engine and I hear a thump, and when I backed out there was a headless bloody creature dead on my driveway. I don’t do well with gore, so a took the poop scooper, shielded my eyes and flung it into the bushes.
A little bloody organ remained stuck to the drive but I couldn’t stomach it. So I left.
On my way home, the AC in the van didn’t work. I thought that was peculiar, but things got worse. Every single service light on the dash was on. Apparently every working part of my car was in distress. Next the radio went silent, and then the car no longer let me know how fast I was going or how much gas I had. All the gauges went dead. Just like the helpless creature on the drive.
I was able to get home but a car was blocking the drive. I parked in the street, and that is where the car took it’s final breath.
This isn’t the only thing not going my way. I have a person who wants to sue me over not buyer their house. I never signed the counter offer, so to me there isn’t an executable contract. This doesn’t stop sue- happy people. This seller refuses to sign the mutual release and the real estate company is holding $1000.00 bucks of my cold cash. Needless to say I am pissed.
I could use that money right now to fix my car problem. ( most likely an alternator $450 -$500)
But hey, things could be worse, and most likely they will get worse.
As long as I am held in limbo, I can not buy a house. House number #3 or #4 is back on the market, we lost it before in multiples. This is a second chance for us to buy it. However I can’t, without being released from the non-contract contract, all because of her
threat promise to sue me. <heavy sigh>
One day: We are going to have our own place and I am going to tell all the fuckers in the world to back the fuck off. People who are mean, nasty and lie. They put all their twisted efforts towards getting something for nothing. They and the people that serve them, the pond scum lawyers, are repulsive human beings.
And that is how I really feel right now.
Tip: Don’t believe anyone. Especially anyone who is in a position to make money off of you.
Tip2: Don’t believe elderly people when they say they don’t remember or when they say they can’t hear you- they are lying.
Inspiration: “Lying is done with words and also with silence.”- Adrienne Rich
One-day one-thing: Get rid of people you can not trust, no ifs, ands, or buts. Just do it.
For life of me I do not understand mean people. I know what bitchy is, and I know what angry is and I am fine with both those in limited quantities. I mean that’s just part of human nature. Who among us hasn’t had a bad day? But mean is something I will never comprehend.
I am getting a first hand lesson in the power of mean. But I have also realized that I can take away that power of mean simply by stepping outside my feelings and observing as if I were a third party. Let me tell you what I have seen as that third party.
I have seen the depth of despair and confusion in the eyes of the mean person. I have witness someone out of control, unable to stop themselves long enough to find the right words. I have seen the face of hate. In their state of meanness, which to me is void of all love, they scan their brains quickly taunting me to engage. But I don’t. I have learned to step outside of myself, and observe. It’s a weird position, and quite new to me. In the past I would definitely shoot back and lose no matter what. No one ever wins in “mean.”
It’s shocking to me, because now I see it so clearly. Before now I would engage and not be able to think straight.
I don’t want someone in my life that treats me poorly. I don’t want someone in my life that holds anger and hostilities towards me. For whatever reasons, unknown to me, I am the one that receives what ever sh*t they want to throw. I have even received the silent treatment, which is hysterical to watch from afar, as if I care to talk to someone so mean.
Mean people don’t seem to know about love. They just don’t. They don’t know how to show it, give it, receive it or feel it. They may have read about it but it’s just not in their nature. Unless they chose to learn about it and change their core beliefs, they will continue to live on with the weight of bitterness, hate and anger baring down on their souls. I don’t even think they know they are missing out on anything.
You see it’s not about making points, or winning an argument, it’s all about what you want in your life. A cold loveless existence just isn’t for me. As I declutter I am purging my thoughts that someone else will ever change.
Instead I have changed. I have changed by not taking in the hostility anymore. I find this approach both powerful and liberating. Any sadness I held for what could have been is gone. I have throw away all my “could-have-been(s).”
Here is a more in depth look at “How to Combat Emotional Warfare and Root Out the Manipulative, Abusive People in Your Life” (this article showed up in my email just now-weird)
Tip: Learn to protect yourself; just walk away if someone is treating you unkindly.
Inspiration: “Anger and intolerance are the enemies of correct understanding.”- Mohandas K. Gandhi
One-day one -thing: Stop thinking about what could-have-been.
I would like to ask my readers to watch this film, and then share it with everyone. There are few things in this world that are truly important. This is one of them. We now have the power to actually make change happen. We can’t sit silent.
Most issue are too much for any one individual. But here is an opportunity for you to actually make a difference.
Please watch. Please share.
To watch click: Kony2012
To buy action kit/bracelets: http://invisiblechildrenstore.myshopify.com/
To make a donation: http://bit.ly/yp5Ffv
To sign the pledge: http://www.causes.com/causes/227-invisible-children
To watch the film: http://vimeo.com/37119711